Page 28 of Shapes of Love
“Yeah. It’s a small role, though.”
We used to binge-watch shows over FaceTime all the time last year when she first moved to New York, but lately it’s been difficult to find time with my schedule and her classes.
“Remember when I used to ask you to come to parties with me because I didn’t want to go alone?” Mia purses her lips. “You used to disappear for a bit halfway through. I always knew where to find you, though. Especially if there was a dog or a cat around.”
A little smile touches my lips. Whenever I used to sneak out to recharge, Mia would always come find me.
“You would get really quiet at a certain point, and I always knew it was time to go home.”
“Yeah.” I’m not sure why she’s bringing it up now. “Why?”
“Don’t forget to come home, Sash.” She hesitates. “Don’t forget to recharge.”
Her brow knits into two concerned lines. I squeeze her hand, a surge of affection coursing through me. I don’t want to worry her. “I won’t. I promise. Sorry I have to cancel our sleepover.”
Silence weaves its web between us for a few moments.
“It’s… okay. Congrats on the role. You’re going to be a whole new level of famous. Holy fuck.” A thread of unease runs through her voice. She stares at the road ahead, but her mind is somewhere else.
“I can come visit you on campus before Christmas though,” I offer.
“Yeah, that could be fun.” She changes to the high-pitched register she uses when she makes plans with someone but doesn’t mean it.
But maybe I’m reading into it.
The rest of the drive is quiet. We end up taking a walk across the hills, sitting on the hood of her car while we eat apack of Oreos, gazing out over the city and the layer of pollution that grays the sky. But Mia keeps checking her phone and smiling at her screen.
A sliver of annoyance spears through my chest. She’s going to see him later. Can’t they just talk in person? It’s obvious that whatever she has going on with Jason is more than a hookup. I don’t like the guy, but I don’t want to dislike him if he makes my friend happy. I need to try harder.
“¿Me presentas a Jason cuando te vaya a visitar?” I ask.Introduce me to Jason when I visit you?
“Sure…” Mia fidgets with the string of her sweater. It’s a little oversized on her, and I wonder if it’s his. “Cuando me visites.”Whenever you visit me.She leans her head on my shoulder.
“Cuando te visite,” I repeat. Maybe saying it out loud will turn my words into a promise.
I hope it’s sooner than later.
CHAPTER 8
It isn’t my first time flying first class, but Kai is wide-eyed, as if he’s boarded an alien craft instead of a luxury airline. He plops down on our plush, spacious seats and slides the partition on either side, shielding us from view before kicking off his shoes and stretching his legs, as if making sure he has enough space. He’s over six feet, so coach seats must be terrible for him.
“Wanna have some caviar?” He peruses the menu after we take off. A flight attendant has shown us how to turn our seats into beds, and soft lighting casts a cozy atmosphere in the cubicle, elegant wood panes contrasting against the giant screen in front of us.
“I wouldn’t recommend it. Marissa got diarrhea from that once just before we had to go through customs,” I say. “She almost caused an international incident.”
Marissa thinks I should fly private, but that middle school paper I had to do about celebrities and carbon emissions still haunts me.
Kai and I bicker for a while before deciding to watch arandom movie. He falls asleep five minutes into it, but I’d rather avoid jet lag, so I pull out my Japanese book to work on my homework. I took it in high school because we were supposed to learn a second language and I already knew Spanish, and I practiced Portuguese a lot thanks to Kai, his grandpa, and the Brazilian employees at their shop. At first they would speak to me in Portuguese and I would answer in Spanish or Portunhol, but eventually I learned to string a few sentences together. After I graduated, I continued working with my Japanese teacher, since she offers private tutoring.
Sometimes I wonder what I would have studied if I’d actually gone to college. I wanted to be a music major, but I love learning languages, too. I’m not sure I could have survived four more years of classes, though. I was already struggling with attendance in high school—graduating felt like a huge relief, letting go of a breath I had been holding for years.
“I didn’t know you were still learning Japanese.” Kai’s voice rumbles with grogginess, pulling me from my thoughts. I spin to look at him, startled for a second. The turbulence must have woken him up. His hair sticks out, his bangs pasted across his forehead as he rubs his eyes and pushes himself to his elbows. He looks like a baby bear waking up from hibernation—disoriented but sort of adorable. He stares at my notebook and points at a word. “What does it say?”
Hitori.One person. Alone.
“Hmm. It depends.??means alone, but if you write it like this,??, it evokes a sense of loneliness, I think? I’m not sure,” I say.Loneliness.Something tightens in my chest. I’mnot lonely, but sometimes I feel alone. I have my family, my friends. They’re all just somewhere else.
Mia’s words come back to me.Don’t forget to come home.
