Page 27 of Shapes of Love
“I’m starving!” I race her to the car. Mia and I started this tradition of getting pizza and driving to the beach to watch the sunset when she first got her license. The day she found out she was going to college in New York, I’d taken her to Santa Monica to ease her nerves. She screamed when she opened the acceptance email, and we both jumped into the water with all our clothes on.
We catch up while she drives, browsing through each other’s playlists and singing at the top of our lungs. She tellsme about the classes she’s taking and her internship, and I tell her about the music I’m planning to write. Everything is familiar—the way her car smells like her strawberry perfume, the friendship bracelet on her wrist, the duck with sunglasses I got for her dashboard that has almost melted from the sun.
And yet, those pauses on the phone have made their way into real life. Silences between us that I don’t know how to fill.
“Hey, you missed our exit,” I say when we drive past the Santa Monica sign.
“Oh, I thought we could go to the hills instead of the beach?” Mia taps her finger against the steering wheel.
“But we always go to the beach?” It’s our tradition. “I don’t mind if you want to try a new place though.”
I like the view from the mountains. The houses are also pretty to look at. When we were little, Mia and I used to pretend to be house hunters, imagining what our lives would be like if we could actually afford one of them. Now I probably could, if I wanted to live there. But I’m not sure I do.
When I imagine myself living in a big house, I don’t see Sasha. I can only see Sassy.
“Yeah, I know, I just—” Her grip tightens around the steering wheel. “Está lejos, and I don’t want to get stuck in traffic again. I sort of promised Jason I’d meet him later?”
“Jason?” I turn to her. What’s Mia’s situationship gotta do with our beach plan?
“He’s in town for a couple of days visiting family, and Isaid we could meet for a bit at his place?” She gives me an apologetic expression. “He’s closer to the hills.”
“¿Me estás dando plantón para quedar con Jason?” My voice tinges with frustration.Are you standing me up to hang out with Jason?“I thought you said you weren’t serious.”
She sets her jaw. “No te estoy ignorando. You’re my priority. That’s why I’m hanging out with you first and meeting him later.”
“You see Jason all the time at school. It’s the first time we’ve hung out in months. I feel like we’re on a schedule now.” I turn my head to look out the window.
She’s not technically bailing on me, but… it’s like she just wants to get this through so she can go hang out with him.
“Why are you being difficult right now?” Her eyes narrow, a flicker of irritation crossing her face. “It’s not like you haven’t had to reschedule a dozen times, or cut a FaceTime short because you had somewhere to be or something to film, and I’ve never complained.”
I swallow hard, the weight of her words landing like a boulder on my chest. She’s right, and I’m being unfair.
“I’m sorry,” I say, trying to dispel the thin veil of unease that has settled upon us.
Mia shakes her head. “No, I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorrier.”
“I’m sorriest. I don’t want you to feel like I don’t want to spend time with you.”
“Neither do I. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I wasn’t making time for you,” I say.
“And we still have our sleepover on Monday.” Her face lights up. “I have it all planned out. We could go to the arcade and then hang out at home and make air-dry clay figures. Also I found my skates! We could go to the park in the morning and have a little picnic.”
“That sounds gre—” My chest swells with excitement, then a text from Marissa flashes across my screen—she just sent me the script for the show. “I… can’t. I’m going to London on Monday. I’m sorry. But I’ll be back soon, and I can visit you after.”
I haven’t confirmed it with Marissa, but she’s right. It’s a good opportunity. I shouldn’t pass on it. And maybe I’m being unreasonable about being tired.
I’m lucky, so lucky. I should appreciate that.
“To London? Sasha, what? I thought you finally got time off.” Mia frowns, a flicker of disappointment passing through her face. “You’re so overworked you got sick.”
I mean, I think it was the nerves from the PR contract that made me sick. Mia knows about it. She thinks Kai and I should be careful, but as long as we get paid, she’s not against it.
“Marissa got me a small role onFriday, that show we like?”
“Shit, Sash, no, I know whatFridayis.” Her eyes widen in shock. “You’re serious?”
