Page 11 of Shapes of Love
“I miss you,” he blurts out, and I freeze. Kai’s eyes search my face, as if he’s waiting for me to say it back, but I can’t.That would make this too real. I don’t want to hurt him again. “I miss my best friend, not my girlfriend. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while.”
“Why didn’t you?”
I would have picked up the phone.
“Because it’s not your responsibility to forgive me. And you seem busy these days.” His voice is tinged with resignation.I’m not that busy, I almost say, but the truth is I am. “A few weeks ago, I got a newsletter from our school. It said that you were going to be giving a speech. I got curious. I wasn’t expecting to talk to you. I just wanted to see you. But then you were onstage, and it was obvious you could use some air.”
“Obvious?” I stiffen. Marissa’s disappointed face flashes through my mind.
“Obvious to anyone who knows you. You kept tightening your ponytail and scratching the back of your hand. You used to do that before exams you hadn’t studied for.”
Oh.Back then, he used to squeeze my hands to calm me down, and he got me a fidget spinner I still play with.
“So you pulled the fire alarm?”
“You’re welcome.” He shoves a bite of ice cream into his mouth. It looks tasty, so I steal a spoonful. He doesn’t fight me.
“Are you insane?” I raise an eyebrow.
“You would have done the same thing.”
Fuck, he does know me. Hestillknows me.
“Friends?” Kai holds out his hand to me across the table, a hopeful look in his eyes.
“Friends.” I shake his hand. His touch is rough but comforting, distant yet familiar. We can’t go back to what we were, but maybe we can build something new, even if we’ll never be as close as we used to be. “Friends who let each other get another scoop of ice cream? This is delicious.”
“Sure. There’s still some left. Check the fridge in the back.”
I jump from my chair and walk to the counter, sneaking a $50 bill into the tip jar when Kai isn’t looking. He won’t let me pay, but I don’t want to abuse his and his grandpa’s kindness. My phone rings, vibrating close to the edge of the table. Kai spares a look at the screen.
“If it saysMarissa, don’t pick up. She’s my manager,” I tell him with a twinge of guilt. Marissa is probably worried, although I did text to tell her I was okay, and she has my location. I’m just not ready to go back yet. Back to being Sassy.
Kai glances at the caller ID. “It’s Mia. She wants to FaceTime.”
“Can you text her that I’ll call her back tonight—?”
“Oh. Kai? Long time.” Before I know what’s happening, Mia’s voice echoes through the shop.
I turn around sharply, only to find Kai pointing my phone at his face and waving at a confused Mia. “Hey, Mimi. How are you doing? Anything happen?”
I pierce him with a glare. Motherfucker—
“Uh. Sorry, I may have dialed your number by mistake,” Mia stutters. She’s clearly panicking. “I was just—”
“Hey, Mia.” I slide into frame and smack Kai in the head. “Ignore this asshole.”
“Am I hallucinating?” Mia presses her face against the screen. “What the—?”
I give Mia a look that’s supposed to be girl code forI’ll tell you later. She must be going through a whirlwind of emotions right now. She and Kai are still friends, but they’re nowhere near as close as she and I are. When Kai and I broke up, she sort of got caught in the middle.
“Whose jacket is that?” Mia’s got that look in her eye, as if she wants to reach through the screen and shake some answers out of me. “And Sash, why is your hair wet? Also, wait, you still haven’t told me about that post—”
I chuckle softly. “How long do you have?”
“I was going on a date, but it’s canceled.” Mia settles down with a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream from her mini fridge. “I’m listening.”
“Oh my God, you’re eating toothpaste again?” Kai whines.
