Page 15 of I'm Gonna Get You Back
I’ve managed to keep my own trainer in the dark about the extent of my pain. If he doesn’t tell Coach I’m fit to return soon, I’ll lose any chance at the kind of season—the kind of future—they all want for me.
The kind of future I’m supposed to want, too.
My phone buzzes again. This time it’s from Mitchell to me directly.Are you alive?
I respond immediately,Why are you with Clara?
Even typing her name is hard. But I have to know.
Mitch:He lives! Because we’re friends.
I clench my jaw and respond,…and?
I brace for his admission that they’re hooking up. Mitch and I don’tlie to each other. It’s why he’s the only one who knows the extent of my injury. We couldn’t be more different, but in this we’re exactly the same. Honest to a fault. The kind of guys who feel like picking “truth” in truth or dare is cheating.
Though, I’m obviously getting better at lying to everyone else. Maybe he is, too.
Mitch:… aaaaaaand friends hang out together? It’s chill.
It’s chill?What the hell does that mean? I go back to the picture he sent. She hardly ever posts anything on her social media anymore, because despite not following her I can’t help but check. Sometimes she includes videos of the forest or views from her hikes but never photos of her face.
How is it possible she’s gotten even more beautiful?
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to ride this pain out, too. This time it doesn’t work.
Mitch:You two can figure your shit out when you come home. You ARE coming right?
I want to say no.
If a photo of her wrecks me this much, how would I survive seeing her for real?
Mitchell texts again,If you don’t your dad’s gonna riot. He keeps asking me if something’s going on with you.
I lean my head back against the headboard.Shit.
Ever since Mom left when I was little, Dad’s been panicked about my life. My future. That something else might fuck me up even worse.
When I showed a talent for running, he poured himself into it andbecame my coach. Then my team’s coach. He’s doneeverythingto ensure I have a path forward. The more he knows about my life here, the worse it’ll be. He might try to take out another loan. After his heart thing last year and with Mitchell going to college next year, I can’t let him do that. I have to prove to him that I’m fine.
It’s only three days, I tell myself. I can avoid Clara for three days.
Yep,I type,I’ll be there.
As soon as I hitSEND, a foreign feeling surges through me. It’s something like anxiety, only not bad.Excitement?That’s… weird. I move over to the most recent texts in RUN FORREST RUN, and my frown deepens as I catch up.
Kenji:Who do we think the guest of honor is this year?
DL:It’s not me. I have a guess it MIGHT be the OLYMPIC HOPEFUL????
Oh god, who startedthatrumor?
I take a deep breath and send the lyric that’s been stuck in my head ever since Delaney played me the album when she visited:It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.
CHAPTER FIVECLARANOW
TWO DAYS UNTIL LEGACY BANQUET
A TAYLOR SWIFT LYRIC.
