Page 78 of Strange Familiars
Harrisford
It takes me a few seconds to register what I’ve just seen.
Gwendolynne is here.Gwendolynne is here.
The nurse who’s been rabbiting on for the past five minutes about goodness knows what—I was only pretending to listen to be polite, since she’d helped me so much with Barnabus—slides her hand further up my shoulder. “Harrisford?” she says, looking up at me. Just before Gwendolynne had rammed into me from behind, the nurse had giggled and said I still had some centaur hoof fragments dirtying my collar. And before I’d had a chance to stop her, she’d reached up and started vigorously brushing imaginary bits of debris off.
And then Gwendolynne had run into me.Literallyrun into me. And I’d been jolted out of my thoughts as I’d stared at her, shocked, looking like a total pillock.
“Excuse me, er—” I push the nurse’s hand off my shoulder, realizing I don’t even know her name. “I’ve got to go.” The nurse looks stricken as I sprint off, having not asked for her nameorher number.
By the time I make it to the top of the front steps, skidding to a stop, Gwendolynne is nowhere to be seen. I stand, panting for a fewseconds, scanning the crowds for a glimpse of her. But she’s gone. Well and truly gone.
A few minutes later, I’ve jammed on my helmet, climbed on my motorbike, and am speeding along the motorway toward Seamere.
As I ride, clouds of dust billowing around me, I think about what an idiot I’ve been. I’d thought the best course of action would be to maintain my distance, keep my head down, and focus on exams. Then, once we’d graduated and I’ve secured the Ministry position, I’d never have to see—or yearn for—Gwendolynne again.
But tonight—seeing her, feeling her body up against mine, catching the scent of her perfume…Even that fleeting touch, that briefest of looks, has ignited all of my past feelings back into sweltering intensity.
I’m being utterly foolish. I know I am. There are so many reasons why chasing after Gwendolynne is a fundamentally bad idea. It’s not just because we’re each other’s number one rivals, and have been for the past seven years. But it’s also the fact that the more I think about it, the more I’m starting to suspect that Barnabuswastalking about Gwendolynne. I can’t think of anyone else whom I care about, who is also in a position to betray me.
How will she betray me? Was it something to do with the hospital? Is she still thinking of going against my request and taking my father’s confession to the police? I mean, it’s not that I don’t want my father to get his comeuppance—I do. But to have the police sniffing around my family’s affairs?
It’s too risky. There are too many secrets, too many skeletons in our closets…Plus, it would put Gwendolynne herself at risk. The police might figure out she caused the explosion at Magecorp HQ. Or whoever is sabotaging Magecorp might get wind that she’s investigating and turn their focus onto her.
No. We can’t involve the police. The stakes are far too high.
And yet, even with all these reasons, I’m still desperate to see her again. It’s a bit of a shock, honestly, to realize that as concerned as I am for my safety, I’m even more worried about hers. This is…unprecedented. I’ve never had to concern myself with anyone outside my small, privileged bubble before.
You’ve lost it, Briggs, I tell myself. My stomach is churning, bitter bile coating the back of my throat.You’re a wretch. You will never, ever escape her now.
She’s walked away from me twice tonight, and it’s excruciating how that made me feel.
It’s not a trap, Harrisford, Pudding says gently, from where she’s perched up on my handlebars.Loving someone is not a trap.
Do I love her? Maybe I do. I’ve never had to love a person before, not since I was four years old. And I don’t quite know how it’s supposed to feel.
For twenty-one years, I’ve been channeling what little compassion I have into caring for my bearded dragon, because when you’re four, and your mother disappears suddenly, and then a few days later you get a pet, that’s the only thing that keeps you from going completely off the edge.
Pudding is my familiar; most of the time, I can keep her with me. I can care for her, I can protect her, I can control every aspect of her environment. And part of me has always believed that if I don’t care about anything else—well, then, I can’t get hurt again. Can I?
But this? This is beyond my ability to control. Gwendolynne Chan makes me feel like every ounce of self-restraint is just slipping through my fingers.
And that thought…It fuckingterrifiesme.
Loving someone is not a trap, Pudding said.
“Then why,” I say aloud, gritting my teeth as we weave and dodge through traffic, “does it feel like it is?”
I spend at least fifteen whole minutes pounding on Gwendolynne’s door. The time passes both quickly and unbearably slowly. All I am thinking about is what I’m going to say to her when she finally opens up that door. I need to see her. I need to confront her. I need to know if she’s the one who’ll betray me. I’m burning up with frenetic energy that is trapped in my body with nowhere left to go.
My furious tangle of emotions has me thinking that I might actually throw myself to my knees before her and beg for her forgiveness. But equally, if sheisthe betrayer that Barnabus was alluding to, then perhaps it’s best I keep my distance. Either way, she’s not in her room, or else she’s actively avoiding me.
I pound on her door again, then place my ear against it, listening for any signs inside.
“Back again?” It’s Danny, hand in hand with Bridie, sauntering down the hall. They’re clearly about to head into Bridie’s room, probably to shag, since that’s what they seem to do ninety-nine percent of the time they spend together.
“Is Gwendolynne in?” I ask, slightly breathless from my hasty ride here and the quarter of an hour I’ve spent knocking on her door.
