Page 107 of Strange Familiars
But I’d always quickly quashed those feelings, putting it down to the human-familiar bond. It was easier not to think too hard, easier not to know. All I’d done was cling to Pudding tighter, because she was all I had left in the world, and I couldn’t stand to lose someone else I loved, the way I’d lost my mum.
“Listen, you dolt.” Danny gives an exasperated huff. “We’re not trying to hurt you. We’re trying to help you. Our intelligence told us that Nathaniel Price was making plans with your father to recruit you into Magecorp as a tether. Even before the explosion.”
Danny’s words bring me back to why I’m here, in the Void, in the first place, and my entire body flushes cold as my unburied memories rush back. It’s like an incoming tide, engulfing me, pulling at me, threatening to drag me back to their deep and fathomless depths…
My mother continues.And now that they’re running out of Source, we’re assuming Nathaniel will speed those plans up. Especially since you’re about to graduate. We’re trying to hide you in here, where he can’t find you.
“So, what?” I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head. “You’re just expecting me to accept this? And stay here, stuck in the Void forever?” Immediately, my mind jumps to Gwendolynne. Was it only yesterday we’d finished exams? Only last night that I slept with her? Just one day ago that I foolishly believed I had everything I’d ever wanted?
It’s just temporary, my mother says.We’ll conceal you in here until everyone assumes you’re dead. Then, once they’re off your trail, we’ll release you back into the real world under a new identity.
A new identity. No.No!
With my reputation, Gwendolynne will probably assume I tricked her into sleeping with me. That I deceived and then abandoned her. When she wakes in the hotel room to find me gone…What will she think?
You don’t have to worry about Gwendolynne, since you won’t be seeing her again, my mother says. My mother has heard my musings, traced the trajectory of my thoughts. Her tone is remorseful, deeply apologetic.I’m sorry, Harrisford.
Anger rises like a rush of hot air beating against my skin. “You were the one who encouraged me to go to her!” I’m yelling. “Youtold me that love isn’t a fucking trap!” Again, I struggle at my restraints, the ropes cutting into my biceps and across my chest. Damn it. Why does Danny have to be so bloody good at knots?
I did say that.I can picture Pudding—my mother—now. Almost visualize the regal rise of her chin.But you’ll see, with time. It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
“That’s a fucking lie, and you know it.” My head is pounding. Shards of grief are slicing through me, right into my core. “You cannot honestly expect me to believe that was true of you and Father.”
She’s silent for a long moment.Your father and I were a different story.
Oh yes, I want to sneer. I know their story. I know how the two of them, both from wealthy families, married each other for status, power, and money, not for love.
I may not know much about relationships, but I know this: I donotwant what my parents had. I want something different. That’s why I broke things off with Isla Ennis, even though everyone thought we were the ideal couple. I didn’t love her, not truly, and for me? That is a total dealbreaker.
But I don’t say it. Instead I say, aloud, “Why should I trust you? When you’ve lied to me? Betrayed me? When you and the MLO have been causing the surges? When you’ve beenkillingpeople?”
“Mate, you’ve got it all wrong.” It’s Danny again, and he’s gesticulating with jerky movements. “We haven’t been killing people. We’ve been doing to them what we’re doing to you. Hiding them out in the Void until the authorities presume they’re dead, and then letting them assume a new identity so Magecorp can no longer find them.”
I stare, nonplussed. “So.” I swallow. “Hani Nguyenisn’tdead?”
Hani Nguyen is the only name I can remember from Nora Chapman’s long list of the “deceased.” And I can only remember it because I’d spent so long staring at her photo ID. I’d gone to such great lengths attempting to make Gwendolynne look like her (not that she ever did, of course; Gwendolynne can’t really look like anyone else when she’s easily the most beautiful woman ever).
“Hani is now Samantha Lai,” Danny says. “A twice-divorced executive who lives a life of leisure in Australia on her considerable alimony payments.”
I’m shocked into silence, contemplating, while I try to fit all these fractured epiphanies together in my mind.
“So the portals stay open because the Source is magnetized to the Void.” A statement, not a question. I know this because I can currently feel the way my own Source is being called to by the Void.
The Source wants to get back to its own dimension, my mother says quietly.And yours is particularly strong, Harrisford. It’s been there, accumulating power, for decades.Her voice sounds thick; I think she’s crying.I tried to stop them putting it in you, my darling. I really did. But your father was just too powerful.
I let my head bow, chin to chest. My eyelids flutter shut. “I understand, Mother.” I understand, but I can’t forgive her.
I was four. You left. I can’t forgive you.
Then again, she didn’t leave, did she? Not really. This whole time she’s been with me, as my familiar, protecting me in whatever limited capacity she can.
When I speak again, my voice sounds weak. I’m empty inside; just a hollow shell. “So the power surges are because…you open portals for the people you’re hiding to get in and out? Do you open more portals than Magecorp do?” More portals mean more power, I’m guessing.
We have to open more of them to rescue people, yes.There’s a trace of regret edging my mother’s words.But unlike Magecorp,wedon’t make the tethers hold portals open for extended periods.
Bile churns in my stomach, and I force myself to take a few breaths. “Is that how Magecorp kills people?” I ask. “The tethers, I mean. Because they have to hold the portals open?”
Tethers—like me. Implanted by Magecorp; saved by the MLO. What I really want to ask is: Is there a chance thatImight die?
