Page 76 of Blind Trust
Nic swirled another strawberry into the pot of chocolate, caramel, and pecans before setting it on the plate in front of Lyla. He groaned when she set a skewer holding a marshmallow and a banana chunk covered in dark chocolate on his plate.
“Just because there’s a banana doesn’t mean it’s healthy.”
Lyla forked the strawberry into her mouth. “We’re not talking about healthy eating, Nicolás. And if we are, dark chocolate is supposed to be good for you.”
Nic bypassed the marshmallow and cut the piece of banana in half before he ate it. The fondue restaurant was nearly full of families and couples enjoying the interactive dining experience. He hoped the fun atmosphere was easing Lyla’s frustration from the meeting with Walsh.
“How are you feeling?”
“My muscles are sore.” Lyla rolled her neck, massaging the back of it with her hand. “And I’m still frustrated with Walsh.”
Nic rubbed his hands down his legs, trying to rid them of the tingling sensation. Lyla watched him as he lifted his hands and set them on the table.
“Are you still having numbness from the concussion?”
“It’s getting better.”
Lyla took his hands in hers and massaged them, her touch triggering an awareness in his middle. “Have you gone back to see Dr. Patel?”
“When would I have done that?”
She released his hands with a laugh. “I don’t know. I’m sure there’s been like two minutes when you haven’t been watching me like a hawk so I don’t get into trouble.”
“Keeping you from that desk job you love so much.”
“Ugh. The worst.” She popped another strawberry into her mouth. “Is that why you’re really leaving? Not enough action, have to get in the field and get your hands all tangled up in wires?”
She was teasing, but there was a glimmer of emotion in her eyes that tickled the back of his throat. “I think it’s time for me to move on.”
“You say that, but I thought you loved working for the agency. I mean, who else is going to force leafy greens down Kekoa’s throat?”
The sentiment building in his chest was getting hard to avoid, especially when she looked at him the way she was now.
“There’s more to it, Nicolás. I can see it in your eyes. Why are you really leaving? Why now?”
The answer—the truthful answer—was lodged in his throat. Telling Lyla he was leaving because working with her was more than his heart could handle would be like lighting a short fuse, and he wasn’t willing to leave Walsh, Jack, or Kekoa there to clean up the mess.
“Working here was an answered prayer, but it’s beginning to feel like I need to move on.”
“Move on to where?” Her voice cracked. “We need you here. I...I know Jack and Kekoa feel the same way. Our team won’t be the same. What you do is—”
“Isn’t working,” Nic finished for her. “Not anymore. I’m no longer confident in what I can offer the agency, and that becomes a liability to what we do here.”
Lyla reached across the table and placed her hand back on his. “Nicolás, you don’t really believe that, do you?”
He wanted to avoid her eyes, the way they seemed to find that space in his heart that at some point had reserved itself for her, but he couldn’t. They pulled at him with magnetic force, and it made him want to lie...or maybe tell her the truth. Instead, he went with what was easier.
“There’s no room for doubt in our field, Lyla. You were right to call me out on it. I needed to trust you, but I let doubt cloud my judgment. That can be just as deadly.”
“But we talked about that, remember? We said we were both going to work on working together. You trusting me more and me not running into risk like the Lone Ranger.” She smiled. “Remember?”
He did. But that didn’t stop the doubts from continuing to linger, especially after everything that had happened since that conversation. Lyla was trying, but was he setting her up to meet expectations beyond who she was? Was that fair? Risk was the name of the game in their career, and he wanted to trust that she’d consider the dangers before she made a decision. But if she didn’t—then what? Would he care for her any less? Hurt any less if something went bad?
“Is it me?”
Her words made him refocus, and he swallowed over the dryness in his throat. “What?”
Lyla pulled back her hand. “The reason you’re leaving. The reason you doubt yourself. It’s me. You don’t trust yourself because of me. I’m the reason?”
