Page 52 of If I Loved You Less
Despite myself, I still. “I hope he was not too disappointed?” I ask, voice quiet.
“I have never known a man to be more so,” he replies, looking down.
I do feel bad, but there is nothing to be done. I swallow the lump in my throat and brush a finger against baby Aizah’s cheek.
“You must do better than your Humaira Phuppo,” I instruct her.
This gets a smile out of Fawad. He shakes his head, looking at me. His dark eyes are warm, flickering with firelight and some emotion I cannot decipher. I feel my heart rate quicken.
Fawad lifts baby Aizah’s little hand up and presses it to my cheek.
“Your face is flushed red from the fire,” he says, voice low.
I press the backs of my cold hands to my cheeks. They are unbelievably hot.
And it is not just from the fire.
ChapterTwelve
There’s a New Year’s dinner at Rameela Auntie’s, one of our family friends.
Papa is excited about it, for some reason, but I am not particularly enthused about going, since Shanzay is sick, so I cannot bring her along, and Rizwan has left to go back to London. I stopped by Phuppo’s yesterday to say goodbye to him under the excuse of wanting to see Phuppo.
It was a strange encounter. I did not feel very sad to see him go; I did not feel much of anything, really.
I do not want to analyze it too deeply, however; not yet at least.
I arrive to the dinner party with Papa, just as Naadia arrives with Asif and Fawad. Emad is already there, having arrived just before us, without either of his parents. I believe he is friends with Rameela Auntie’s son, or something. One can never draw conclusions as to why certain people get invited and why certain people don’t at dawats.
“Here, let me take your coat,” Emad says, while we all crowd in the foyer of Auntie’s large house. She lives a few towns over on the north shore and also has a well-decorated, tasteful home.
“Thank you,” I reply, handing my Loro Piana cape (yes, the one with the fur! These aunties are always dressed to the absolute nines with their gold and designer shoes and purses) to Emad, just as Asif gives me a pointed glance, trying not to laugh. I give him a dirty look, remembering his comment about being encouraging towards Emad.
“Behave yourself,” I warn. He sobers for a moment.
“What’s going on?” Fawad asks, glancing between the two of us. He’s dressed quite smartly in a black suit, though instead of his usual crisp white shirt, he’s wearing a black dress shirt, and no tie, the top button undone and exposing a triangle of skin at the base of his throat that momentarily makes me forget my name.
“Nothing,” I say quickly. I do not want to get Asif’s ridiculous notion into Fawad’s head as well. It will only aggravate things, and I do not want to fight with him (beyond our standard bickering, of course).
“It might snow tonight,” Asif says, looking out the window. Naadia and I gasp at the same time, whipping our heads to Papa to see if he’s heard. Thankfully, he hasn’t. Naadia hits Asif with her gloves.
“Don’t say that,” Naadia warns, glancing at Papa. “You’ll send him into a panic.”
“And when he was so looking forward to this dinner, too,” I add, tsking at Asif.
“You heard the Mirza sisters,” Fawad says, clapping his brother on the back. “We best behave.” He offers me a half-smile.
Emad returns and asks if I would like anything to drink.
“No, I’m alright, thank you,” I respond, distracted as Asif whispers something to Naadia. She glances at Emad and I with a puzzled look. “Emad, I’m afraid to say Shanzay is down with a cold, which is why she couldn’t come tonight.”
“I am sorry to hear that,” he says, not looking it one bit. I furrow my brows. “But I’m sure she’ll be fine. Shall we go get some appetizers?”
Surely he should be more concerned. I resist the urge to frown, especially as Asif raises his eyebrows at me.
“Actually, I think I will sit with Rameela Auntie,” I say, grabbing Naadia’s arm. “Let’s go sit with the ladies. Goodbye, boys!”
I wave at them, then drag Naadia with me to the room full of aunties, all dressed to impress, with their fancy three-thousand dollar shawls and decades old jewels.
