Page 46 of If I Loved You Less
“I’m okay. Please, can you just come?” she pleads.
I’m already heading up the stairs. “Yes, I’m coming. Give me five minutes.”
I say goodbye to Naadia, Asif, and Fawad, who are all disappointed I’m going, then head home, where Shanzay is being interrogated in the foyer by Papa about her lack of a scarf when it is so cold out.
“Thank God you’re here,” Shanzay says, breathless. Her eyes are wide with excitement and nerves.
“Come,” I say, leading her up the stairs to my room. I have her sit on the chaise, then sit beside her. “What happened?”
“Huzaifa called me!” she squeals. I blink.
“Huzaifa?” I repeat. How dreadful. I thought that entire ordeal was done with.
She nods, standing up. “He called to say that he wanted to grab coffee together, so we did, and it was really nice, and then at the end, he said that he has very strong feelings for me, and if I could ever feel the same, he would like to begin courting me! Get our parents involved, send a formal rishta, and everything.” She lets out a long breath, then collapses backwards onto my bed. “Isn’t that so straightforward and honest? I find it commendable.”
“Almost too commendable,” I say, unimpressed. “I’m sure his sister told him exactly what to say.”
“Oh, yes ... well…” She swallows. “I don’t know what to do.”
“What did you say?” I ask. “In response to him.”
“I said I would give him a response soon.” She clutches a pillow to her chest.
I hate to see my dear friend so unnerved, it is very unbecoming. Especially when she can do so much better than Huzaifa, and I do not see why she should tie herself down to the first boy who has paid her any interest.
Besides, what about Emad, my choice for her? I am sure he’s the right fit for Shanzay, and I’m never wrong.
“You should not keep him waiting,” I say, voice calm and sure. “You must give him an answer straight away.”
She sits up, the pillow in her lap. “Yes, I knew you would know what to do. That’s why I came to discuss it with you first.”
“That is what friends are for.” I smile reassuringly. “Now, in your response, you must be sure to be conscious of the pain you will inflict on him.”
Shanzay hesitates. “Pain?” She fiddles with the tassels on the pillow. “So you think I should say no?”
Now it is my turn to hesitate. “Oh, I’m sorry. I did not realize ... you wish to accept? I thought you liked Emad.”
“I do! But…” Her voice wavers. “I don’t ... I – I don’t know!” She lets out an exasperated sigh. “I did not know Huzaifa liked me so much.” She looks at me with desperation. “Please, tell me what to do.”
“I can’t do that,” I say. “You must decide this for yourself.”
She bites her lip, looking here and there, confused and clearly distressed. Perhaps a nudge is in order.
“As a general rule,” I say, tone gentle, “if someone is so filled with doubt, I think they ought not to accept. It is best to trust your doubt, rather than ignore it, and live to regret it.”
Shanzay nods, understanding this.
“It is up to you, of course,” I say. “But is he not still studying? How would that work?” I pause. “I don’t think a man should be thinking of marriage until he can provide for his wife. Unless, of course, he has the financial support of his family.”
“Yes, he is still studying,” she replies, voice low.
“Shan, you seem so disheveled,” I say. “So not like yourself. Are you quite sure this is the type of relationship you want? Something that makes you feel erratic?” I pause, letting the words soak in. “In the end, of course, it is up to you to accept or reject. I do not wish to influence you, for it is your decision to make, but as your friend, I do want whatever is best for you.”
“Yes,” she says, finally looking at me. “I think I have ... I have almost made up my mind ... I decide, well – I have decided to…” She takes in a big breath, looking at me from the corner of her eye. “Reject him?”
She waits for my reaction. I hesitate a moment, then sigh with relief.
“Thank God,” I say, taking her hand. “I was hoping you would say that, and I am so glad you came to the conclusion on your own.” I smile. “I agree with your decision entirely.”
