Page 18 of If I Loved You Less
Emad is Mahum Phupo’s youngest, and my only cousin left unmarried – which I am hoping to remedy before the year is done. Two birds, one stone!
Some time ago his mother, my father’s sister, entertained the notion of him marrying me, but that’s a genetic disaster waiting to happen. (I should know – my best friend, Areeba, is a genetic counselor.)
I spot him with a couple of my other cousins, and wave him over. He immediately comes to my side. He has the typical Mirza looks: average height, thick black hair, and a hooked nose. He’s dressed nicely in a sweater and dress shirt and is clean-shaven.
“Salaam!” I say. “How are you? I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long! How’s work going? And the new baby?” His brother just had another kid.
“I’m good! It’s nice to see you, too. It has been a while.” He smiles. “And that baby is definitely a jinn.”
I laugh. “Ohmygod, stop. You can’t say that about your nephew!”
“It’s true!” He laughs. “Whenever I hold him, he doesn’t cry, he just stares at me with these huge eyes. It’s freaky.”
“Well, I am sure he is puzzled at seeing such a strange specimen as yourself.”
We chat a bit, then I get a text from Shanzay, saying she’s here, so it’s showtime. I bite back a grin. This is going to be lovely. Shanzay is going to fall in love and live happily ever after, and I’ll have helped another loved one find their happiness.
“Okay, Emad, I have a mission for you,” I say, tone getting serious. He inches closer, listening intently.
“What can I do?”
“My friend, Shanzay, is new in town, and I’ve invited her over,” I explain. “But I must go help Phuppo in the kitchen, so will you be a darling and keep her company?” I bat my eyelashes. “She really is a sweet girl, and I think you’ll get along very well! Oh, it would be such a favor to me, as she and I are so close. I would appreciate it so much.”
“For you? Of course.” He smiles sweetly.
“Yay!” I clap my hands. “Thank you.”
I go to open the front door, letting Shanzay in. We squeal, hugging one another.
“You look great!” she tells me.
“So do you!” I say, taking in the sight of her. The pants are very flattering on her pear-shaped body. “Just one last thing.” I reach into my pocket and fish out some lipstick. “Put some of this on,” I whisper. She does as she is told, and now she’s ready. (Lipstick truly is a life-saver. Never leave the house without it.) “Come with me.”
I loop my arm through hers and introduce her to Phuppo and Naadia and the rest, then steer her back to the foyer, where Emad is waiting for us.
“That’s him,” I whisper. Shanzay giggles nervously, squeezing my arm.
“He’s so dreamy,” she whispers. What can I say? We’re a family of good genetics. And it definitely helps that Emad has nice muscles that reveal just how much time (too much) he spends in the gym.
“Humaira,” he says, when we grow close, “who’s your friend?”
“Emad, this is Shanzay,” I say, trying not to giggle. Oh, I am too clever! This is going to go splendidly. “Shan, this is my cousin, Emad.”
“It’s nice to meet you Shanzay,” Emad says, smiling sweetly. “I hear you’re new in town?”
“Yes, I’m actually a student…”
And that, dear friends, is the beginning.
ChapterFive
As they start chatting, I quietly retreat, pleased with myself. That business taken care of, I go to check on Papa. He is with the older trio of phuppos rather than sitting with the uncles or his nephews. He sits on the sofa between them, two on one side, one on the other, laughing. I smile.
Papa is in his prime when he is with women. By women, I mean his daughters, wife, nieces, and sisters. For Papa, we are simple and easily pleased. We wanted things like pretty desserts or a new sweater or some hot chocolate. This, Papa can handle. All he had to do was swipe the credit card. In return, we offered fun conversation and listened to his jokes and laughed and teased.
But the boys, i.e. his nephews? They were too difficult to figure out. And they didn’t even laugh at his jokes, which was the greatest offense. Papa was too stressed about their futures, even my cousins who were working adults in the real world.
Papa had grown up with five sisters, so it made sense. He didn’t even learn how to walk until he was two because there was always someone carrying him places, can you believe that? Plus, he used to cry if anyone ate even a bite of his paratha, then he’d demand a new one.
