Page 13 of If I Loved You Less
Despite being the same age, I feel Shanzay is so much younger than I am, like the youth group girls I often interact with. She is so simple. She’s from a middle-class background, and most of her world was confined to her family.
I must protect her,I think to myself. I’ve taken quite a liking to her. I think she’ll be a dear friend to me.
“Now, to more important matters,” I say. “Do you have any boy drama in your life? If so, you must tell me at once. I’m a slut for a good romance.”
“No, not really,” she says. Shanzay looks away, fiddling with the ends of her dupatta. I narrow my eyes, staring, and she only grows more shy.
“I knew it!” I say. “You do. Tell me everything!”
“Oh, alright,” she says, giggling. “Remember how I mentioned—” she lowers her voice, though the house is empty save for us, “—Huzaifa earlier? The Rajas’ eldest?”
I nod, motioning for her to continue.
“Well ... he is very kind.” Her eyes fill with light. “He’s in graduate school to become an English teacher, and his reading tastes match mine quite well. He lent me some of his books to read over the summer, and we would sit and discuss them together…”
I furrow my brows, instinctively worried.
“Isn’t he younger than you?” I say.
“Well ... only a year,” she replies.
“Hm.”
“Wh-What?”
“Perhaps this is just my experience, but I feel like young guys are immature,” I say, tone gentle.
“Oh ... um, maybe.” She bites her lip. “I don’t have much experience, to be honest with you.”
“I unfortunately havetoomuch experience.” I sigh. “Particularly with immature, stupid boys. It’s a horrible waste of time, not to mention a headache.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t you think you might be better off with someone more settled?” I say, after thinking for a moment. “Only because you are an immigrant, and you’ll be starting from the ground up, so it might be better to be matched with someone with a more solid foundation.”
Her face falls. I’m afraid I’ve hurt her, but it is the simple reality. People may pretend that money does not matter, but it does. It is best to set yourself up for success rather than failure.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” she says slowly, understanding what I mean. Her forehead creases with worry.
“Of course, it is up to you to decide.”
“Thank you for your advice,” Shanzay says, releasing a breath. “I do think you are right.”
But her voice has lost all its earlier excitement. Her lips look suspiciously frown-y. Oh, that won’t do! I am determined to help her as much as I can. I’ll be useful to her just as I have been with the others.
“Aw, don’t be disheartened!” I say, taking her hand. A splendid idea pops into my head. “I can help you find someone more suitable. I am a bit of a matchmaker, you know.”
“Are you really?” Shanzay asks, a smile appearing on her face. “You look nothing like the rishta aunties I know.”
I laugh. “No, nothing like those aunties, especially since I have a much higher success rate.” I flip my hair.
“I trust you, then,” Shanzay says, eyes wide and accepting. “I’m a bit new to all this.”
“Don’t worry,” I tell her. “I will find you your perfect match.”
ChapterFour
Iwas thirteen when Mama passed away. The grief of losing a loved one always lingers, always remains, but while most days pass by without any bumps, some days come out of nowhere to rattle you straight to your bones.
