Page 20 of Ransom
"Yeah," I said. "I know."
He snorted and pulled back, already bored with me.
Fenix was exactly where I expected him to be.
The root cellar door was propped open with a rock, and he sat on the top step with his back against the frame, legs pulled up to his chest, chin resting on his knees. He didn't look up when I approached, just kept staring into the dark of the cellar like he was having a conversation I couldn't hear.
"You been here all night?" I asked.
"We both have." Fenix tilted his head. "He doesn't mind the company. Most of them don't once they realize."
I crouched beside him and looked into the cellar. Castillo's body was laid out on the stone shelf where we kept the potatoes in winter, covered with a clean sheet. Someone had put a candle on the floor beside him. It was still burning.
"Linc bring you the candle?" I asked.
"No. I brought it." Fenix's voice was quiet, matter-of-fact. "He's free now. Got out clean. The candle is so he can find his way." He gestured vaguely at his own body. "Without this slowing him down."
Fenix was the youngest of us at twenty-two, pale and thin like a rail. Linc was the only one who could get him to eat anything, and even then he only agreed to it because of some story about ghosts and offerings Linc had told him.
"Ranger's taking him into town this morning," I said. "Morgue."
"I know." Fenix paused. "He's got a good soul, the Ranger."
"Yeah?"
"Yes." Fenix finally looked at me, clear and calm, focused on something just past my shoulder. "I'm worried about yours, Ransom. It's starting to wear thin."
Something in my chest went still.
"I'll be okay," I said carefully.
"You don't have to be okay." He turned back to the cellar, unconcerned. "It's something you learn when you're dead.People spend so much time pretending to be okay when they're not."
I didn't know what to say that so I said nothing.
"Don't worry," Fenix said. "I won't tell anyone."
I stood up and brushed the dirt off my jeans and told myself that Fenix was just Fenix and Linc had it handled.
"You need anything, you come find me," I said.
"I will." He paused. "Ransom?"
"Yeah."
"Thank you for checking." His voice was soft and earnest.
I touched his shoulder once, but he didn't react. He just stared at the corpse and let out a small, longing sigh.
Rafe summoned me to the round table in the back room at six.
I went through the kitchen to get there.
Sierra was at the stove with his back to the door, stirring something in a cast iron pan. Pearl lay at his feet on the rag rug she'd claimed two summers back. She lifted her head when I came in, took one breath of me, and put her head back down. She knew me.
Coffee and chile in the air, and the wood smoke Sierra always carried with him. I stopped just inside the door because Sierra hadn't turned around yet. He'd been waiting.
"Coffee's on the counter," Sierra said, still not turning. "Made it strong."
