Page 12 of Incoronate
“NO!” I screamed, the sound tearing out of me as I lunged forward, my own dagger already in my hand.
Desperation shoved my hand up, my ether magic pouring out of me before I’d even consciously called it. Time slowed around Famine, his arm suspended in its downward arc, the blade frozen inches above Trace’s heart. The voices screeched in my head, rage and betrayal flooding through the connection, but I didn’t stop.
I struck.
The blade sank into him, light flaring violently as it met flesh. Famine roared and staggered back, shock registering on his face as he clutched his chest. The blade’s power tore through him in a violent pulse, throwing the fog back in a thick, churning ring as his lifeless body slammed into the ground.
I stumbled backward, the dagger slipping from my fingers and landing in the grass with a soft thud. The compulsion shattered all at once, fragments of it dissolving as full consciousness rushed back in, loud and brutal and completely overwhelming.
What had I done?
What had I almost let happen?
My eyes flew to Trace, still laying on the ground where Famine had left him, blood smeared across his face, his eyes wide in horror as he stared back at me. Then to Dominic, motionless in the grass, his neck twisted at an unnatural angle that made my stomach lurch before finally landing on my own hands, still raised in front of me as though they belonged to someone else.
They were shaking.
My whole body was shaking.
The voices were gone and everything was quiet in my head again, yet none of it felt right. Not the silence or my racing heart or the fact that I was the only one still standing in the middle of all this. I stared down at my hands again, turning them over slowly as I took in the wet blood under my fingernails. The reality of what I had almost done bore down on me until I couldn’t breathe.
“Trace,” I whispered, his name breaking apart on my tongue. “I’m so sorry—”
He was moving before I could finish, dragging himself up off the ground despite the pain etched into every line of his face. His arms came around me, pulling me into the safety of his chest as though I weren’t the one who had done this. As though I hadn’t just stood there and watched as Famine tried to kill him.
As though I hadn’t done nothing but bring utter pain and destruction into his life from the moment I’d walked into it.
“I almost…” The words snagged in my throat, half-strangled by everything I couldn’t bring myself to say out loud. “I almostlet him—”
“But you didn’t.” His voice was rough, but he didn’t falter. “You came back. You fought it.”
Tears streaked down my face as I apologized, over and over again, the words spilling out in a broken stream that I couldn’t seem to stop. I was sorry for everything. For using my magic on them. For leaving. For not fighting harder or sooner.
But sorry felt so small and useless then. Not when Dominic was still lying incapacitated in the grass and Trace was holding me together with what were probably broken bones of his own. Not when the echo of everything I’d nearly done was still ringing in my ears and drowning out everymeaningless apology that would never erase even a single second of any of this.
Because I had let something in tonight. Something dark and ancient and merciless. Something that had taken me over so completely and nearly driven me to the brink of a mistake I would nevereverbe able to come back from.
And worse, I wasn’t entirely sure it was gone.
4. DAMAGE CONTROL
The harsh kitchen light made my eyes ache as it washed over the room without mercy, stripping it of all its shadows and leaving nowhere for my guilt to hide. I stood against the counter with my jacket still on and my arms wrapped tightly around myself. I hadn’t thought to take it off when we finally came back inside. Hadn’t thought much of anything since the moment the world snapped back into place, and I realized what I let happen.
My hands still wouldn’t stop shaking.
Somewhere between the driveway and the kitchen, the tears had finally stopped, but the gnawing guilt remained. It sat heavy in my chest, bearing down on me with every breath as I replayed the moment I’d used my magic against Trace and Dominic, freezing them in place before I walked away from them like they were nothing. Replaying the moment Famine raised his blade over Trace’s heart.
He’d been seconds from his end, and I’d just stood there and watched.
The memory looped like a horror reel in my head, each replay carving itself deeper into my mind until I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to think of anything else.
Dominic leaned against the kitchen island across from me, his face unreadable as he watched me with a crystal tumbler lifted to his mouth. The blood inside was dark and thick, catching the light as he drank. His neck had already healed, but I could tell he was still moving carefully, stiffly, every sip slow and intentional as the blood worked through his system and accelerated what his body was already doing on its own.
He hadn’t said much since coming to, though I supposed he didn’t really need to. Everything that had happened tonight was still right there in the room with us whether we acknowledged it or not.
I looked over at Trace as he hovered near the far wall, seemingly unable to stay still. He’d pace a few steps, stop, then drag his fingers through his hair before starting the cycle all over again. His pupils were blown wide and the blue of his irises were nearly completely swallowed by black. Every few paces, he’d glance over at me before looking away again like he was afraid to look at me for too long. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what he was thinking about, but I assumed it wasn’t anything good.
Outside, when I needed him most, he had held himself together for me. But that composure came at a price, and now that the threat was gone and I was safe, everything he’d been keeping in check was finally catching up with him.
