Page 81 of The Recovery Coach
“There’s no way you aren’t cheating,” Lover complained.
“He is hiding cards,” Toma said.
Daisy laughed.“Shake out your sleeves right now.”
Jake dropped his hands to his sides and shimmied, shaking his sleeves.He pushed the cuffs of his sweatshirt up and showed off his tattooed forearms.“I don’t have to cheat.It’s all luck, baby!”
Roxie grimaced as she played her card.“I can’t do anything about it.”
Toma followed suit, then Beanie, then Daisy.
Livy piled a plus two onto the discard pile.
“Finally, something might get him!”Lover said, adding another plus two.
Hazy shuffled through his mountain of cards, coming up empty on a card that would add to the draw count instead of sticking him with it again.
Dylan stacked yet another plus two card on the pile.
Hazy hung his head and drew the six cards.He wasn’t even lucky enough to draw something special.He laid down a normal number card.
Jake pumped his fist in the air and slammed his last card onto the pile.
Beanie gathered the cards and shuffled them.
“I’ll be back,” Hazy said, excusing himself to the restroom.
He bypassed the bathroom altogether and slipped out the sliding glass door in his bedroom.The cool air was a balm to his overheated skin.The house got way too fucking hot when there were so many people.He sat at the patio table and buried his head in his arms, disappointed in himself.
The people inside loved him.They wanted to spend time with him.They’d taken time out of their own schedules to show up at his house with food, games, and conversation.And he was hiding in the fucking backyard because he wasjealousover who Livy spent her time with.
A few weeks ago she’d been fully his.Something he didn’t have to share with the other people in his life.But now they knew her.And loved her more than him.
He raised his head and cursed at himself as he checked out his surroundings.His backyard felt desolate these days.He hated when the winter weather barred him from enjoying his favorite spot.
Livy likely wouldn’t spend the summer in the outdoor space with him.When she moved in, he hoped maybe he’d get around to building that treehouse after all.But Lover would give her everything she’d always wanted.He should be happy for them.And he should also be reveling in everyone he loved being in one room together, talking and laughing and having fun.But he hated it.
He feltlacking.Like he wasn’t quite enough for any one of them.Like no matter how hard he tried, or what he provided, or how much love he gave, they would never need him.
His teammates performed better without him than they had with him.Dylan no longer required a babysitter.Lover, who’d been his ride or die for years, didn’t need him now.He had Livy for nights out, cuddles, and inside jokes.And Livy.She needed him least of all.She had Lover.And Jake, the other best friend he didn’t know she’d replaced him with during those awkward years.The years he’d wasted when he disregarded her feelings.
He was such a fucking asshole.
The sliding of the glass doors interrupted his self-loathing.He sighed and faced the intruder.
“Are you okay?”Lover asked, taking the seat next to him.
“I’m fine,” Hazy said.“Just hot.”
“It is hot in there,” he said, scooting his chair closer to Hazy until their thighs pressed together.
Hazy leaned into the touch.He rested his head on Lover’s shoulder.
“We can all clear out if you aren’t feeling good,” he said.
“I’m not sick or anything,” Hazy reassured him, trying to be the best host possible in the midst of his meltdown.
“I don’t like when you’re sad,” Lover whispered.
