Page 45 of The Recovery Coach
Livy scrolled through the app store on her phone, a list of dating apps a mile long splayed out on her screen.She clicked through a few and read the app descriptions.When she downloaded Tinder, Hazy said, “I thought you were looking for something serious.”
“I’m casting a wide net.”
“Tinder is for hookups.You won’t find serious there.”
“I have multiple friends who met their husbands on Tinder.Youuse it for hookups.Doesn’t mean everyone else does.”
Hazy, who downloaded the app years ago strictly for that purpose, became aware that he hadn’t opened it in weeks.His hand was boring company.
“Maybe you should stick to Hinge.”
“That’s definitely where I’m focusing my attention.I set up my account last night,” she said, opening the app.She handed him her phone.“What do you think?”
He scrolled through her profile.“Oh my God,” he said.“Have you ever used a dating app?”
Livy shrugged.“I met Lance in school.I’ve never had to fill out one of these stupid questionnaires.”
“I can tell.”Hazy chuckled.“If you put every detail of your life like this, you’ll scare people off.”
Livy frowned and held out her hand for her phone.Hazy kept it.“I answered the questions.”
“You wrote like four paragraphs for every question.Nobody is reading all this.People swipe fast; they need quick information.”
“If they aren’t interested enough to read the profile, I don’t want them.People will self-select out.”
“Good theory, but that’s not how people use these apps.”Hazy scrolled through the rest of her profile.When he got to the photos, he snorted.“What the hell are these pictures?”
Livy snatched her phone out of his hand.“What do you mean?They’re cute!”
“Okay,” Hazy said as he scooted closer to her so he could show her what he meant.He pointed to the first picture.“Adorable picture.It’s also like twelve years old.You don’t look like that anymore.”
“I guess that’s true.”
He scrolled to the next picture.“This makes it seem like this isyourbaby.”
“Well, it’s not.Don’t guys want to know I would be comfortable with a baby?That is kind of the whole point of dating.To meet someone and build a family.”
“No.Nobody cares about that.You already answered the question about kids earlier in the profile.This screams single mom, which isn’t a bad thing, but is misleading.”
“Huh.What else?”
He scrolled again.“In this one, you have my last name on your back.”
“Thousands of people wear your last name on their backs every game day.He’ll think I’m a hockey fan.Which is true.”
“It may be a little weird when he finds out we’re friends.You’re pantsless in this picture.”
“I’m wearing shorts.And the jersey is as long as a dress.It’s cute!”
“It’s adorable.I love it.Iwouldn’tlove it if I was on a date with you and you said, ‘My best friend is Connor Hale,’ and that’s the picture you showed me.”
Livy opened her camera roll.“What pictures would you choose?”
Hazy scrolled through the photos.She had dozens of selfies and pictures with friends.Livy with puppies (he selected one of those), other people’s children, and making weird faces.He scrolled and scrolled and scrolled.When he stumbled upon a dick pic, he halted.
“Uh, not that one.”He laughed.“Whose dick is that?”
Livy grimaced.“Don’t scroll farther unless you want to see more.Lance sent them all the time.He asked me to return the favor, but I don’t know.What if he showed someone?It always felt weird—oh!”She closed the photos app and opened a different app.“I had these taken for my birthday.They might work.”
