Page 63 of The Recovery Coach
Unimpressed with Livy’s vision for her future, it dawned on him how selfish he’d been when discussing their dreams as kids.He’d fantasized about his life as a hockey player and what that might mean.He’d imagined the house he would live in and the car he would drive, and all the vacations he would be able to take with the money he earned.But he’d never considered the same for Livy.In his mind she’d always be in his life, and he put them on equal footing.In retrospect, they never had been.Livy struggled and worked hard for everything in life.From food to Christmas gifts to parental attention.As a kid it had been easy to share his privileges.To hoist her to his level socially and financially so she could stay by his side.He despised the idea of her scraping by in stress-inducing working conditions while he sat on top of the world.
“Do you like working?If you had a rich as fuck husband, would you still want a job?”he asked.The hypothetical popped out of his mouth before he had time to consider the implications.
“Why?”she teased with a cocky grin.“Are you offering?”
His cheeks grew warm.“No!Just curious.Sounds like a miserable way to spend your life if you’re always going to be climbing the ladder.”
“Lance and I talked about the possibility of me staying home with the kids, and obviously that’s ideal.But after what he put me through, I’m always going to want my own income.”
If Hazy could figure out a way to murder her ex without getting caught, he would take it in a heartbeat.“That seems smart,” he said, instead of voicing his homicidal thoughts.
“Yeah.It doesn’t really matter, though.Most guys don’t make enough money for staying home to be a real option, and I’m staying far, far away from doctors moving forward.Way too much drama.”
“I make enough money for it to be a real option.And I’m not a doctor.”
Great.Now twice in as many minutes he’d mentioned the possibility of spending their lives together, and he didn’t even know if that’s what he wanted.Where the fuck was Lover when Hazy needed him?
She frowned, pushing the food on her plate around with her fork.“It’s funny you say that.I need to talk to you about something.”
Thankful for the subject change, he said, “Oh yeah?Shoot.”
Hazy could see the gears working in her head.Her hesitation caused a knot to form in his gut.She chewed her bottom lip, staring past him when she asked, “Are you into Valentine?”
“Am I into Lover?”He was surprised it had taken her this long to ask.A lot of people who knew Hazy’s sexuality assumed they were a couple.
“Don’t stall.Are you into him?”
“Like romantically?”Hazy asked.He knew what she meant, but the way she asked it made him feel like it was a trick question.
“Yeah.”Livy took a bite of pancake, leaving a smear of whipped cream on her lip.Her tongue darting out to clear it drew his attention, dazing him for an endless moment until he realized he needed to respond.
“Uh, no.I’m not into Lover.”
Livy set her plate aside and boosted herself onto the counter before reclaiming it.“You’ve never had a crush on him?Or romantic feelings of any kind?”
Hazy shrugged, the irony rolling over him.When they first met, he’d developed a massive crush on Lover.All the activities Daisy made them participate in felt dangerously close to dates.But that didn’t matter since Lover was tragically straight.Eventually he’d gotten over it.“We kissed once.Our rookie year.He wasn’t into it.We’re inseparable friends.”
“Wait, you kissed?I wish I could have seen that.”Her eyes sparkled with mischief.She waggled her eyebrows.
Hazy laughed.“Ew, don’t be weird.It was experimental.He’d never been kissed.”
She vibrated with excitement at the news.“You were his first kiss?That is the cutest thing I have ever heard,” she squealed.She scooped another bite into her mouth and did a little dance.
“It’s not cute.It’s just a thing that happened when we were kids.”
“No, it’s fucking adorable.Would you be upset if he dated someone?”
Hazy lifted a shoulder.“Eh.He won’t.Every time a pretty girl tries to talk to him, he can’t get any words out.”He stabbed his last piece of pancake and dragged it through the remaining syrup and whipped cream.
“He’s relaxed with me,” Livy said.
The last time he’d seen them together they’d been on the ice at the practice rink, Lover’s hand on Livy’s face, their mouths inches apart.At the time, he hadn’t understood his uneasiness or the ache in his chest.Livy and Lover’s friendship was a good thing for Hazy.They were his two favorite people.His closest friends, his most important loved ones.He should be happy that they got along.
Now, after four days of introspection without access to his best friend for a debrief, he could identify his feeling as a seed of jealousy he had no business harboring.Hazy belonged on the ice, chasing Livy around.He should be the one she raced and played with.She made even the most boring drills fun.They hadn’t been skating since before his draft day.
He pulled himself out of the unhelpful daydream.“Because he’s not interested in you.”
Hazy knew at least that much.Lover had zero game.He’d watched his best friend fumble every sure thing the man had ever encountered.
