Page 109 of The Recovery Coach
“You aren’t giving me a chance to ask anything,” he said.
Olivia shoved the treehouse door open.The cold air washed over her bare thighs, regulating her senses for a moment before the panic took hold again.Rational thought fled her mind.She was staring at a moment she’d daydreamed about for years.But instead of the love and joy she’d always imagined, she followed an urge to flee.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
She had to move.To get out.Away from Connor and somewhere she could process.Because this couldn’t be happening.Her best friend wasn’t proposing out of the blue.He hadn’t lured her to their favorite spot and turned her world upside down.
She didn’t remember running into the house.Didn’t remember putting the dishes away or walking to the guest room.The next time she became aware of herself, she was flopping onto the bed, still wearing her puffy coat, hyperventilating.Tears rolled down her face as she stared at the ceiling and worked to control her breath.She ran a hand through her hair, spreading the wetness at her temples where tears had gathered.
Inhaleforfourholdforfourexhaleforfourholdforfour.Inhale for four hold for four exhale for four hold for four.Inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four.Inhale for four.Hold for four.Exhale for four.Hold for four.
With her breathing under control, the regret settled in.She’d done the same thing to Connor that Connor had done to her all those years ago.He’d offered her the life she’d been dreaming of since she was twelve on a silver platter, and she’d run away like a coward before he could get a word in.
She’d been searching every one of his sentences and actions for some hint that he saw her as more than a friend for weeks.She’d been baiting him by pretending to date his bestie.Pushing boundaries in how she touched him, the amount of skin she showed, and the amount of flirting she did.She’d gotten nowhere.
As she sat in her silent room and went over every interaction they’d had in the last month, her panic and pain and confusion and guilt morphed into anger.How dare he throw this on her?He skipped every rational step and went straight to marriage.
Her stewing could have lasted five minutes, or five hours, before the soft knock came at her door.She balled her hands into fists and debated ignoring the intrusion.But if she didn’t acknowledge him, he would barge in anyway.Olivia sighed and sat up as the door opened without invitation.
Connor slipped inside and shut the door behind him.He sat next to her on the edge of the bed.
“I screwed up, huh?”he asked.
She let the silence linger, hoping he would provide some insight into his thought process.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Connor said.
She unzipped her coat; the air in the room stifling with him so close.Tossing the coat onto the floor, she crab-walked her way backward toward the head of the bed and slid under the covers.She pulled her knees to her chest and rested against the headboard.
Connor flopped backward, taking the position she’d been in for an unclear amount of time.He reached one hand above his head and grasped Olivia’s ankle.The touch soothed her more than she cared to admit, even through the thick fabric of the bed’s quilt.
His voice was a gentle whisper.“I didn’t mean to scare you off.”
“Could have fooled me,” Olivia muttered.
“Yeah, I got that.”
Connor’s dry delivery forced a soft smile onto Olivia’s lips.
“Walk me through how we got here, please,” she said.“Because I’m so fucking confused.”
He let out a harsh chuckle.“I don’t know, man.I’ve been tangled up in knots about this for weeks.”
“About what exactly?Because whatever it is, marriage isn’t the solution.”
“God, Livy.You’re making me sound like an asshole.There’s no problem to solve.Marriage isn’t supposed to be any type of solution.”
“Could have fooled me,” Olivia said again.
Connor flipped onto his stomach and crawled up the bed until his toes dangled off the edge.He grabbed one of Olivia’s hands and pressed his forehead to it.
“I had a whole speech prepared, but then you got weird about the present, and I panicked, and then you were running away, and I expected you to come back.But you didn’t.And I can’t blame you.I did the same thing.”
A nervous laugh escaped Olivia’s throat.“Maybe the treehouse isn’t as magical as we think it is.We have a habit of hurting each other there.”
Connor gasped.“Don’t you dare talk bad about the treehouse.We have way more magical memories there than sad ones.”
The silence stretched between them, and Olivia studied her best friend.She pulled her hand free from his grasp and ran it through his hair, trying to get him to look at her.He wiggled closer, and she stretched out her legs so he could rest his head on her thighs.
