Page 99 of Every Shattered Note

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Subject: Are you there?

It’scool if you don’t want to respond.

I just wanted to check on you.Alec said you’re home safe, but ...I still worry.

I know this isn’t how it’s supposed to go.I didn’t plan for everything to fall apart the second we kissed ...but this is my life.All fucked up and shit.

If it makes you feel better, I keep thinking about you on that tarmac—your hair catching the light, your hand halfway raised like you were saying don’t go but couldn’t.

I miss you already.

I’m in a hotel that smells like cigarettes and carpet cleaner.We all regret selling our properties here.Eddie’s on the phone in the next room, probably finding a rental—or maybe something to buy.

Me?I should be asleep, but I can’t.I close my eyes, and I see the villa.The sunrise.You, at the railing, watching the horizon.

You’ve gotten under my skin in a way I don’t know how to undo.

Anyway ...that’s all.

Sleep well.Don’t miss me.It’s not worth it.

—D

ChapterThirty-Eight

Private Message | EchoZone Internal Chat

From: AlyEuphoriaEvents

To: MustLoveMusic

Date: February 27, 2001 7:18 AM

Subject: Re: Are you there?

I wasn’t goingto respond.

Then I opened this window, stared at the blinking cursor for ten minutes, and realized that not replying might hurt more.

I’m home.It’s raining.Seattle’s pretending to be fine while I’m pretending not to keep checking the phone.

It feels strange, doesn’t it?

That only days ago, it was sunlight and music and mangoes, and now it’s deadlines and news anchors saying your name like it’s theirs to own.I saw the headlines, Dex.I turned the TV off before they could play the footage.

I don’t know what’s true.

But I know you.

That’s enough for me.

I miss you, too.

Though I’m not sure we’re supposed to say that yet.

—A

ChapterThirty-Nine

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