Page 139 of Every Shattered Note
Aly waits for my response patiently.
“I used to chase noise,” I say.“Because silence scared the shit out of me.But it turns out silence isn’t the enemy.It’s where everything important finally gets a voice.”
She leans into me then, resting her head on my shoulder, her hair brushing my jaw.Her body folds into mine like she’s always known how to fit there.
“And what matters?”she whispers.
I press a kiss to her temple.“You.Coffee.Morning sex.Writing songs that never need an audience.”
She laughs quietly, the sound curling in my chest.“You’re getting good at this.”
“What, love?”
“Being happy.”
She says it like it’s fragile.Like it could break if we breathe too loud.
I slide my arm around her waist and pull her closer, grounding both of us to the moment.
“Yeah,” I say.“I think I am.Took a while.I had to meet the right person ...and find the right venue where I could learn to play my heart.”
The wind shifts.The faint scent of lilac floats through the air from the garden bed below.Somewhere, a dog barks—probably the next door’s retriever chasing a bird again.The day keeps moving.Nothing spectacular.Nothing big.
And somehow, it’s everything.
I think about the man I used to be.
The one who blurred his edges so no one could see the cracks.Who turned himself into noise so he wouldn’t have to hear the silence.Who thought if he played loud enough, maybe he’d drown out what hurt.
Applause used to be my proof of life.Now?
Now I don’t need to be seen.Just held.Known.Loved in the quiet.
She found me there—in that scorched space between who I was and who I was trying to become—and she didn’t try to fix me.
She just made me play out of my comfort zone.
And after that ...
She laughs when I forgot lyrics.
Dances with me in the kitchen or wherever we feel like it.
And taught me how to breathe again.
That’s love, I think.
Not saving.Not repairing.Just seeing.
Out of nowhere, I start to sing, it’s barely above a whisper:
You builtme a house out of second chances,
and I learned how to stay.
You found the melody under all the static,
and taught the silence what to say.
