Page 115 of Every Shattered Note

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I told myself I didn’t care if you did, but I think that’s the only lie I told today.

I wanted you to see me without any filters, without all the words people keep stuffing in my mouth.

I didn’t expect it to feel like that.

I’ve performed in front of thousands of people, but this was different.Saying it out loud—everything I’ve avoided—it felt like standing in front of a firing squad and waiting to see if anyone would miss.

Someone once told me grief doesn’t arrive like thunder.It seeps in until everything’s damp.

Turns out it’s all true.

I don’t know what will happen now.

I just know I’m not running from it anymore.

Are you?

—D

ChapterForty-Nine

Private Message | EchoZone Internal Chat

From: AlyEuphoriaEvents

To: MustLoveMusic

Date: March 8, 2001 12:11 AM

Subject: Re: Re: Today

Dex,

You don’t get to ask me that and not expect the truth.

I don’t know exactly how I am, but I can assure you that I am ...relieved.

Not because of what you said—because you said it.

There’s something terrifying about watching someone you care about become exactly who they were always meant to be ...without you standing beside them.

I keep telling myself to stay quiet, to be smart, to not send this.

But I don’t know how to do in-between with you.

—A

ChapterFifty

Private Message | EchoZone Internal Chat

From: MustLoveMusic

To: AlyEuphoriaEvents

Date: March 8, 2001 1:34 AM

Subject: You care about me?

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