Page 61 of Ace of Shadows
Ivy turns back to the city and nods. “It’s kind of peaceful. More peaceful than in here.” She taps her fingers against her breastbone. “Or up here.” She taps her temple and sighs deeply, sounding utterly exhausted.
“I’m sorry about what happened today.”
“Me too.” Her upper lip swells slightly as she runs her tongue along her teeth. “Me too.”
Standing next to her, I gaze out over the city. If I squint just enough, the city becomes a dark pool of water with droplets of color shimmering across the surface from all the lights blooming to life as darkness rolls across the sky.
“I have no idea how I’m going to tell my mother.” Ivy’s pained voice echoes with the hollowness of grief. “When she wakes up, I have to tell her Dad is dead and oh, by the way, he was having an affair and about to divorce you.”
Bracing against the railing, I slot my hands together and angle my body toward her. “Do you have to tell her?”
She nods. “On one hand, maybe she already knows and it won’t be a shock. On the other, if I don’t tell her and she finds out, then I’ll be just as shitty as Moira. God.” Her head hangs low and she presses her thumb and forefinger to her eyes. “How did things get this fucked? I mean… What the hell happened?”
My heart throbs. I wish I had answers for her. I want to reassure her, but nothing will be able to ease her pain. Only time will truly soothe her.
That doesn’t stop me from trying, though.
“Sometimes, life deals a bad hand,” I say softly. “But we can do our best to work through those cards. Look at you. You survived the plane crash. You pulled through the kidnapping and you walked away from the house explosion. Yes, it’s shitty, but you’ve survived. You’re not the same woman you were, and this with your father is just the next bad hand. And we’ll deal with it.”
“Do you think it’s linked?” She lifts her head and fixes her dark eyes onto me. “My father’s affair and that picture of him with Kraven? I thought he was just a banker, but he was photographed with the Mafia. I thought he was a loyal father and it turns out he’s a cheater. Do you think there’s any kind of connection there?”
“I haven’t ruled it out. Men in this world have done worse for less,” I reply gently.
“So you think there is one?”
“No, I’m saying there’s a possibility of one. I can’t see one, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t one. You and your father, yourmother, the plane and the affair… we have the pieces right now. Something connects them.”
“Fuck…” Ivy puffs out her cheeks and groans. “Two months ago, my life was so simple. Almost boring.”
“Do you miss it?”
She shakes her head. “I thought I did when I was with Moira, but she…” Ivy presses her lips together. “It hurts, don’t get me wrong. But when Moira was telling me all those things, it felt so… small. Like I’ve been through so much that her lying to me doesn’t hurt as much as I feel like it should.”
“Perspective is everything. Your values have changed.”
“Maybe. I hated her in the moment, but now…” Ivy faces me fully. “I think something broke inside me.”
Leaning up from the railing, I step closer. “How so?”
“In here.” She presses her hand to her chest. “Everything comes hot and fast and then it’s just gone. Like I’m empty and numb. Something broke, and I can’t feel things properly anymore.”
“Ivy, you’re in shock. You’re protecting yourself from bad news, and that’s normal. Plus…”I smirk, trying to lighten the mood. “Your knock to the head would have had the opposite effect. Just try to focus on the good like your–”
In a sudden surge of movement, Ivy throws herself forward and clutches at my shirt with both hands, then drags me down for a kiss. Her lips are warm and soft, her cheek sticky with salt from her tears and her grip betraying everything desperate about her in that moment.
I can’t blame her.
But this isn’t right.
“Ivy!” Despite the hunger that surges inside me like the roar of a beast, I grasp her shoulders and push her back until the kiss breaks.
“What?” Her eyes flash with anger. “You only wanna touch me when I’m stuck in bed?”
“No, that’s not?—”
“Are you not attracted to me?”
“I am.”
