Page 24 of Puck the Coach's Son
Maddox's hand is still on me. I can feel where it was on my chest. I can feel where it moved. I can feel where it stopped, right above the line, right before the belt. I can feel the breath on my ear.Your coach can come looking.My coach did come looking.
I don't cry.
I won't cry in this car.
I don't cry.
The apartment is on the seventh floor of a building Paul picked because it was close to the rink and because it had a doorman. The doorman is Denis. Denis has an excellent memory for faces. Denis nods at Paul. Denis nods at me. Denis looks at me for half a second too long. Denis, I think, knows I'm not okay. Denis won't mention this to anyone. That's Denis's job.
In the elevator Paul stares at the door.
I stare at the door.
The elevator goes up.
In the kitchen he puts his keys on the counter.
He puts his coat on the back of a chair.
He turns.
“Sit down.”
I sit down.
He doesn't sit.
“I am going to say this once. You are a professional athlete. You are not at college. You are not on a gap year. You are not in a fraternity. You are a rookie on a team that thinks you are here because of me. They are not wrong. They are here because they are good. You are here because you are good and because I am your coach, and the second fact is the one they see. You do not need to confirm it for them by being the kid who goes out with the team and sits in the middle of whatever tonight was.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Look at me when I'm speaking.”
I look at him.
“If you give me any reason to think you are distracted, Theo, I will pull you. Not from a game. From the team. I will call my contact at the Rapids and I will send you home. Do you understand me.”
“Yes, sir.”
He sets his hands flat on the counter.
“I do not want to have to say that again.”
“You won't.”
The fridge hums behind him. The kitchen light is too bright.
“I will not.”
“No, sir.”
He watches me another second. His face starts to soften. Then it resets before the softening lands.
“Go to bed.”
“Yes, sir.”
I stand up. My legs take a second to understand what standing up is. I get them to understand it. I walk past him to the hall.
