Page 11 of Angel
“I don’t know.”
Joker studies me, eyes steady. “That don’t fucking sit right.”
“It don’t,” I admit quietly.
He nods once. “You call her?”
I hesitate. “I was gonna.”
Joker’s gaze is unblinking. “Go outside. Call her.”
I bristle instinctively at the order, then the feeling drains away because he’s right. I’m Road Captain, but Joker’s President. Andright now, I’m a man who needs a shove to do the thing I’m scared of doing.
I step outside into the cool night air, phone heavy in my hand. The screen lights up with her name.
Stevie??
My thumb hovers. I hit call. It rings. Once. Twice. Three times. No answer, her voicemail kicks in. I hang up before it can record my breathing. My chest tightens. Where the hell is she? I call again. Same thing. No answer. I stare at the phone until my eyes burn. This is the part I can’t handle. The unknown. The waiting.
I lean my head back against the brick wall and let the cold air hit my face. Carrie finds me in the parking lot not long after. Carrie looks tired. Worried. Like she’s been carrying this for a while.
“She gone?” she asks softly.
I nod.
“She didn’t answer my texts,” Carrie says. “I figured.”
I lean against my bike, the metal cold through my shirt.
“I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Carrie’s eyes soften, but her voice stays steady. “You stop lettin’ her hurt alone.”
“She won’t talk to me.”
“Then listen when she does,” Carrie says. “And stop pretendin’ you can fix this by standin’ back.”
I swallow hard.
“She thinks if she just tries hard enough, it’ll all work out.”
“And you think watchin’ her bleed out is better?” she counters.
I don’t answer because she’s right. And I hate that I didn’t see it sooner.
“Angel,” she says gently, “I’ve been where she is. Tryin’ to control the pain. Tryin’ to make my body behave so I didn’t have to feel helpless.”
I look up at her then.
“And?” I ask quietly.
“And it damn near broke me,” Carrie says. “What saved me wasn’t a plan. It was someone sittin’ in the mess with me until I remembered how to breathe.”
The words settle deep. I think of Stevie’s notebook. That's the list of things she thinks she did wrong. That line…. didn’t deserve it. My throat tightens until it hurts.
“She’s gonna hate me,” I whisper.
Carrie shakes her head. “She might get mad. But that ain’t the same as hate. Don’t confuse her pain with rejection.”
