Page 12 of Calculated Risk
Now I have no idea what to say to him. He still likes me, but do I want to get involved with him now while he's helping me?
I lick my lips, shake my head a little, thinking about what to say.
"So don't let me go," I hear myself say.
"Lilah—"
"I'm serious. You want to help with my show? Fine. But you have to commit. All in. No running when it gets uncomfortable or emotional or messy."
"I'm not good at being messy."
"Then learn. Because my life is messy. My art is messy. I'm messy and if you can't handle that, tell me now before I let you in."
He's quiet for a long moment. Calculating. Planning. Doing all the Marcus things.
"Okay."
"Okay?" I question him, because it didn’t sound convincing.
"I'm in. All in. Even when it's messy." He extends his hand across the table. "Partners?"
I look at him for a moment, because even though he’s said, I'm still not one hundred percent sure he means it, but I take his hand. Feel the warmth, the strength, the slight tremor that suggests he's just as nervous as I am.
"Partners," I agree.
We shake on it, and something shifts. An understanding. A promise.
This isn't just about my thesis anymore.
This is about two people who've been circling each other for three years finally deciding to stop running.
It's terrifying and exhilarating and completely unplanned.
Exactly the way the best things in life happen.
Chapter 5
Marcus
The next weekis controlled chaos.
Every morning, I arrive at Lilah's studio at seven with coffee and a revised schedule. Every morning, she laughs at my schedule and does things in whatever order feels right.
It should drive me insane. It doesn't.
"You're smiling," Carter observes during hockey practice Wednesday morning. "You never smile before nine AM."
"I'm not smiling."
"You're definitely smiling. It's unsettling." He checks me into the boards. "What's going on? You've been weird all week."
"I'm helping someone with a project."
"Is that someone Lilah Rodriguez?"
I miss my next shot. "How did you know?"
"Because Lennox told me and she knows because Isla told her. And Isla knows because she has eyes and saw you leaving Lilah's studio at midnight last night."
