Page 50 of Convincing Carrie
I started to say something else, to plead my case, but my lawyer leaned in. “You’re not making things any better.”
The mediator heard him and nodded. “Your lawyer is right, Mr. Caldwell. Let’s move forward, please.”
“I made a horrible mistake. I want you to know that I didn’t touch her in a sexual way until that night.”
She gave me a look full of doubt. “Kissing counts.”
I felt my face flush, but I defended myself. “I didn’t kiss her until that last night.”
“You mean to tell me,” she said, voice dripping with skepticism, “That out of all the times you ‘worked late’ you only kissed her once?”
“I swear. And there were several times that I did work late. I wasn’talwayswith her…”
“I think it says something about who you are that you’re going to focus on how many times you cheated instead of the fact that you cheated at all.” She turned to Mrs. Johnson. “Can we move on?”
“Yes. So, Mr. Caldwell, my understanding is that you’d like to reconcile?”
“Yes. I love you, Carrie. I fucked up, but I can be better if you’ll just give me a chance.
“I will not.”
She said it so unequivocally that it effectively ended the discussion. I was desperate and wanted her to listen, but I didn’t know how to get her attention.
“I’m staying in Indigo Falls,” I said quickly before the mediator could end this part of the discussion. “I’m not moving to Atlanta.”
Carrie looked at me. “How does Madison feel about that?”
“I’m not with her anymore. Do you really think I would still be with her but asking you if we could get back together?”
“I mean… I didn’t think you’d be with her while you were married to me, but here we are, Thatcher.”
She had a point. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m staying here to be close to you. I’d like to propose marriage counseling.”
She stared at me. “Don’t stay in this town to be close to me. As I said, I don’t want to ever see you again after today. And I don’t want to go to counseling with you. I’m not the one who messed up our marriage. If you want to go to counseling, knock yourself out.”
Okay, then. I nodded.
“I want to sell the house,” she said flatly. “It makes me sad, and I don’t want to live there.”
“That’s fine with me.” If she didn’t want me to stay in Indigo Falls, then I wouldn’t. No one wanted me here anyway. I turned to my lawyer. “Can we make that happen?”
He nodded. “I just have to draw up some documents, and you both have to sign.”
Everyone got quiet.
I cleared my throat. “I know you don’t want to work on the marriage, but can I talk to you?” I gazed at her hopefully.
She hesitated, then nodded.
“I’m so, so sorry,” I said. “I’ve done so many things wrong. I’ll do anything to prove how much I love you…”
“Loveme? You don’t love me. People don’t treat those they love the way you’ve treated me over the past few months. You’ve texted her and emailed her for months, Thatcher. You’ve let her make fun of me, my family, this town…everythingabout our life together. You made it seem small and inferior, like what we had meant nothing to you.” She pointed to the folder of evidence she’d brought with her to the meeting. Apparently, she’d madecopies. “The man who wrote those texts and emails? I don’t know him. That person is a pompous, arrogant prick. Is that who you were with her? Is that who you really want to be?”
“No. Not at all. I… lost my way. I got wrapped up in what my life used to be like before you showed me that it didn’t have to be that way. That I didn’t have to cover up who I really was under a layer of sophisticated boredom. I thought that was who I had to be once I became CEO of the company. I thought that was what I wanted again. But it’s not. That’s not even close to what I want.”
She scoffed. “And what is it that you want?”
“You. Our life together. This town. Our friends. I want it all back. I want to erase these past few months and start over. Pretend it didn’t happen.”
