Page 35 of Not My Friend
I knew she’d been extra busy at work, but this seemed like more than that.
Old Me would be freaking out right now. I would have imagined a dozen increasingly elaborate scenarios in my head and then gone to her house tearfully demanding to know why she didn’t love me anymore. Or I would have spied on her, tracking her phone and stalking her social media posts.
But New Me wasn’t like that. Maybe there was something going on that she didn’t want to talk about yet. Maybe she was depressed or something. Or maybe she just needed some space. We’d been growing closer and closer, but after our bad breakup three years ago, I wouldn’t blame her if she was suddenly freaking out about us getting back into a serious relationship.
When Kimberly said she didn’t want to get together on the weekend though, I knew something was wrong. We’d been dating for four months now, and we’d spent every single weekend together, even the weekend that I broke out in hives after accidentally eating something with hazelnuts.
I decided to put on my big girl panties and ask what was going on.
Gina:Is everything OK? You seem kind of distant this week.
Kimberly:I have a lot on my mind right now.
Gina:Okay, I’ll give you space, but I’m here if you want to talk or you change your mind about getting together.
The only response was a thumbs up. Either something was terribly wrong or she was upset with me, and her cryptic text did nothing to soothe my nerves. After thinking things through and making sure I wasn’t overreacting, I decided to try again.
Gina:I’m not trying to be a clinger, but it seems like something is wrong. I understand if it’s something private and you don’t want to talk to me about it, but if there’s something wrong between us, I wish you’d talk to me about it.
Gina:Remember we promised to be honest and talk to each other about things that were bothering us?
My phone was silent for so long I almost gave up on hearing from her. Thirty minutes later, I heard a knock on my door. I knew it was her before I even opened the door.
“Hey.”
Kimberly stood in the hallway, her expression troubled. There were dark circles under her eyes like she hadn’t been sleeping well. What was going on?
“You’re right,” she said. “We need to talk.”
“Come on in.”
She followed me to the kitchen, sitting at the table while I got us both a bottle of water and wondered if she’d come to break up with me.
“Who was that guy?” she blurted out.
“What guy?” I asked in confusion.
“The guy you kissed and hugged and held hands with at the ice cream shop the other night. The one who looks like a handsome linebacker.”
I burst out laughing.
“Oh yeah, Kyle’s gonna love that description!”
She’d obviously seen us at the ice cream shop and instead of asking about it, she’d been distancing herself all week. It was a familiar pattern – and disappointing.
Kimberly frowned. “You told me it you were at a work meeting. What I saw didn’t look like a work meeting. It looked like a date or something. Who is Kyle exactly?”
I studied her face. “Are you jealous, or do you think I lied to you?”
“Both,” she said grudgingly.
As much as it bugged me that Kimberly had doubts about me, I couldn’t help but feel a little thrill that she cared enough to be jealous.
“It was a work meeting, but with an old friend,” I started. “Kyle was a client back when I started at the homeless youth program. He was a skinny little thing then. His parents kicked him out because he came out as gay and he ended up living on the streets doing whatever he needed to in order to survive.”
Kimberly frowned but didn’t respond.
“I helped him get into a shelter and into counseling, and after he was stable, I didn’t see him for a while because I was assigned to work with crisis clients and he was no longer in crisis. A few years later he showed up as a newly hired peer support specialist in my program. He was going to community college and helping other kids get off the street and we became friends. Then we both got laid off and other than the occasional text I didn’t see him for a few years because soon after our program closed he got a scholarship to University of Oregon and moved away. But now he’s moved back to Seattle. With his boyfriend.”
