Page 24 of Not My Friend
I loved Kimberly so much it scared me. Not that I’d ever told her that. I wasn’t sure why, but as much as I shared all my feelings with her, I couldn’t share those words. Maybe because I was waiting for her to say it first. It was safer that way.
I stopped outside the window of the restaurant, seeing if I could spot my girlfriend. My mouth opened in surprise when I saw her sitting there with a woman I’d never seen before. The woman was beautiful and curvy and when she smiled at my girlfriend with affection, my stomach burned with acid. Then she leaned forward and handed Kimberly her fork to taste whatever she was eating and I saw red. That move was way too intimate for a casual friend.
Kimberly was cheating on me! That was the only explanation I could think of.
Somehow I always knew this thing would crash and burn. I knew something wasn’t right in our relationship, I’d beenfeeling it for a while now. Kimberly had become increasingly uncommunicative, almost sullen, obviously pulling away from me. When I asked her what was wrong, she always said everything was fine. Even our lovemaking had changed. It had always been hot and frequent but the last few weeks we’d barely touched each other. Now I knew why, She was seeing someone else.
Shaking with fury, I ran all the way back to my apartment. If Kimberly wanted to cheat on me she could move in with her girlfriend! She needed to get out – tonight.
Kimberly
Istarted regretting this whole friends with benefits thing the minute I came back down to Earth from our mutual orgasms.
It sounded like a good idea at the time, but after what could only be described as a mind blowing orgasm, the urge to spend the night together, making each other come over and over again, was strong.
But then again, I remembered this feeling. Remembered how our obsession with each other’s bodies kept us from getting to know each other before we jumped into cohabitation. A relationship couldn’t be based just on sex. If Gina and I were going to have another shot at this… whatever this was, we needed to be smart about it.
I sat up with a groan.
“I should probably get going. We agreed to no sleepovers.”
Part of me thought I was calling her bluff. I fully expected Gina to pout or argue or suggest another round before I left, after which we’d fall into an exhausted sleep together whether we wanted to or not. I braced, waiting for it, wondering if I’d give in.
But to my surprise, she just sat up and slid off the bed without an argument. I watched her lithe body as she walked to the dresser, taking out a pair of sleep shorts and a fresh tank and pulling them on, her expression completely unperturbed.
“That was super fun, thanks,” she said. “I’ll let you get dressed while I use the bathroom.”
We met back in the living room, and for the first time tonight, there was a moment of awkwardness before we recovered.
“Okay friend, what are you doing this weekend? Are you interested in getting together? Maybe going for a hike?” she asked.
“I could do tomorrow, but I’m visiting my mom and stepdad on Sunday.”
“How about I meet you at the state park trailhead, the one we used to park at, around ten?”
“Sounds good.”
She walked me to the door and when she didn’t come in for a kiss, I gave her a little wave. I knew we’d agreed to no sleepovers, but it was surprisingly hard to walk out that door. I half expected Gina to call me back, but when she didn’t, I walked down to my car and headed home.
Over the next month we settled into a rhythm. Gina and I would text each other once or twice a day, just chatting and sharing news, the same way I did with my other friends. We usually hung out for at least a few hours over the weekend, going to a movie, hiking, or visiting the farmer’s market, and a couple of times we had dinner mid-week.
I continued to be surprised that Gina didn’t press me to spend more time with her. She never asked where I was or what I was doing. Other than the few times we’d had sex, it was a typical friendship.
It was driving me the tiniest bit crazy.
“I don’t understand,” my friend Tammy said when I brought it up over dinner one night. “You two agreed to be friends with benefits and nothing more. When you were together before, Gina’s neediness drove you crazy. But now you’re, what? Upset that she’s not needy enough? That’s super weird.”
“I know, but right now my relationship with Gina is basically like my relationship with you. Except with sex.”
Tammy scoffed. “I still don’t get it. What’s the problem exactly?”
“I’m in love with her, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t feel the same way.”
Tammy heaved out a long sigh like my being in love was a personal affront to her.
“So what you’re telling me is that once again this woman is going to break your heart? I really don’t like her.”
“She’s keeping to the agreement we made,” I reminded her. “I thought us being friends was a prelude to possibly dating again, but it’s been a month and she hasn’t brought it up. I’m the one with the problem, not her.”
