Page 4 of Not My Friend
“Okay, we’re all aware that Ms. Hamilton and I have a previous relationship. Given that it ended more than three years ago and there’s been no contact since then, the state’s position is that it does not constitute a conflict of interest. This audit is being completed by myself and my colleague Mary,” I said, pointing to my coworker. “Our reports and findings, if any, are carefully reviewed by our supervisor before becoming official. You also have the right to file an appeal if you disagree with anything.”
I paused to take a breath, then directed my words at Gina. “I want to assure you that I can remain impartial in this review, regardless of anything that happened in the past.”
Like you falsely accusing me of cheating and tossing all my shit out of a window,I added silently.
When no one said anything, Mary spoke up. “Can we get started now? We have a lot to do over the next three days.”
“Yes, let’s proceed,” Allison agreed.
She had the no-nonsense manner of a nonprofit executive who’d seen it all and wasn’t frazzled by anything. I liked her immediately.
We spent the next hour completing our interview with Allison and Erin, the agency’s Chief Financial Officer. For a CFO, Erin was surprisingly vague, almost unprepared, making me wonder what was going on with her. Then again, a lot of people got nervous when the auditors came in. There was no reason for it though. We were just here to make sure our funds were being used as contracted, not to look for ways to ruin their lives.
Erin and Allison left and we then moved on to interview Gina and her QA person, Rochelle. I had to admit I was surprised by how professional my ex-girlfriend was. The Gina I knew tended to be anxious and unsure, which often came out as being defensive. This Gina was poised. Self-confident. Calm.
She really knew her stuff. Despite my best intentions, I was impressed.
***
Four years ago…
I walked into the bar to catch up with my friend Susan, but to my surprise, she wasn’t alone.
“Hey.”
“Gina, this is my friend Kim. Kimberly Hernandez, this is my new neighbor, Gina Hamilton. I hope you don’t mind that I invited Gina, she’s new to town and I promised to introduce her to some of my friends.”
I wanted to be irked that my friend had invited someone without giving me a heads up, but then I got a good look at Gina and my heart stuttered. She was adorable, dressed in workout clothes like she’d just come from a run, which I later learned was true.
“Nice to meet you Gina,” I said, giving her my hand.
She wrapped her fingers around mine and I felt a little jolt. I knew she felt it too, because her eyes flew to mine for a split second before she pulled away. Her cheeks turned a little pink.
“You too.”
Two hours later Susan was gone and Gina and I were ordering our third beers as we discussed some of the lowlights of our previous relationships.
“How would you feel about some onion rings?” she asked, glancing at the menu on the table.
“I’d feel good about that,” I replied.
She gave me a sweet smile, and I felt a weird tingling in my belly. Something that felt like more than lust.
“Did you move here alone?” I asked, trying to suss out if she was single. I was new to this lesbian thing, and it made me awkward trying to figure out the social rules of this new world.
Gina told me that she’d moved to Seattle after breaking up with a long-time partner who’d really done a number on her.
“I’m going to focus on myself for a while,” she’d confided. “No dating for at least a year.”
“That’s a good plan. I’m not looking for anything serious either.”
Six weeks later we were living together.
Gina
As I responded to the auditor’s questions, I did my best to limit eye contact with Kimberly. Most of her friends called her Kim, but since the first time we met I’d used her full name, somehow liking it better.
I’d been nervous about this audit before I knew that Kimberly was going to be here. Now I was a wreck, although I was doing my best to hide it. I was using all the anti-anxiety techniques I’d learned in therapy to keep from hyperventilating. Focusing on Mary instead of my ex-girlfriend helped.
