Page 16 of Not My Friend
Gina stilled, her eyes bouncing between mine. “I, uh…”
I wasn’t sure what I was going to say, but while my brain wasn’t paying attention, my body was moving forward. I slid my hand from Gina’s ear to cradle the back of her head, then slowly closed the distance between us and touched my lips to hers.
For a second, maybe two, we were both completely still, our lips pressed together in a chaste approximation of a kiss. Then she sighed and my body remembered what to do. And then I was kissing her for real. I licked along the seam of her mouth, and when she granted me access, I slid my tongue inside her mouth and slid it against hers.
That’s when we both let go of any remaining restraint we had. I grabbed Gina’s shoulders and pressed her against the side of her car as I deepened the kiss, immediately taking control.
She didn’t seem to mind though. Her hands moved up and down my back like she was getting reacquainted with the muscles there before she cupped my ass, one cheek in each hand. She’d always loved my ass, something I’d inherited from my Mexican grandmother. I’d always hated it because it was too large in proportion to the rest of my lower body, making finding pants that fit me right nearly impossible.
When I started feeling dizzy from lack of oxygen I finally pulled back a few inches. Gina opened her eyes, her expression dazed.
“Wow. That was… wow.”
“Yeah.”
Before I could say anything else she was pulling my head back down for another kiss.
Everything around us faded as all my focus narrowed onto the spaces where my body pressed against hers. I’d always loved this. There was something about kissing Gina that made it feel so intimate, so perfect, almost better than sex. Almost. I could kiss her forever.
This time when we broke apart to take a breath I took a step back, knowing that if I didn’t put some distance between us I’d be fucking her on the hood of the car before too long. We’d made a lot of progress this week, but I wasn’t ready for that yet. I was still processing all the changes in my ex-girlfriend and trying to sort out the complicated feelings racing through my brain.
The truth was, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready to be with Gina again. As much as my heart was telling me to give her another chance, I couldn’t stop thinking about the issues in our relationship last time, issues that became even more evident once we were separated. And I couldn’t forget the way she literally tossed me aside, assuming the worst of me, without even giving me a chance to defend myself.
“I know we shouldn’t have done that, but I can’t say I’m sorry about it,” Gina said softly as she searched my face for a reaction.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you ever since I saw that ice cream on your face,” I confessed, wanting to be honest despite the doubts I had. “Or possibly before that.”
There was no ‘possibly’ about it, but this situation was complicated and there was no reason for me to show all my cards yet. She didn’t know how many times this week I’d fantasized about pulling her down on that crappy little conference table and eating her out until she forgot her own name. She didn’t need to know that I was going to need to pull out my vibrator and relieve the ache between my thighs the second I got home. She didn’t need to know that kissing her was like coming home, like finally finding something that I’d lost.
But we both had a job to do, and we needed to focus on that.
Plus our history was fraught. I’d gone down this road with Gina before, and it had nearly killed me. I needed to use my head and not let my hormones be in charge.
“I’d better get home,” I said regretfully. “I’ll meet you here at nine tomorrow?”
She nodded. “I’ll bring bagels.”
“Then I’ll bring better coffee to go with it.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Picking up the laptop bag that I’d somehow dropped while we were making out, I walked to my car, resisting the urge to look back at Gina, even though I could feel her watching me the entire way. I waited in my car, watching in the rearview mirror until I was sure that Gina was safely inside her car and had gotten it started before I left.
That night I slept fitfully, my mind preoccupied with Gina. My boss would fire me if he thought I had something going on with her during an active audit, but once the audit was completed, I was free to date her. If I wanted to, that is. Sure, things had gone badly, very badly, the last time we were together. But we’d both grown and changed a lot since then. We were more mature, more settled.
But could I ever trust her again, truly? Maybe it was just nostalgia that was drawing us together. I’d let passion blind me before. Was I doing it again? Maybe I was just lonely after going so long without a romantic partner in my life.
The next morning I met Gina at her office with two giant coffees and a plan.
“Can we talk about last night?” I asked as soon as we settled at the conference table.
Gina wasn’t the only one who’d changed over the years we’d been apart. I’d spent some time learning how to have hard conversations, something I’d avoided when we were dating. Well, I mostly avoided them now too, but this was important.
She gave me a wary look. “Sure.”
“I wanted to apologize. For the kiss. It shouldn’t have happened.”
“We both agreed about that last night,” she reminded me. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t wish we could do it again.”
