Page 14 of Not My Friend
“Still drinking that watery Hefeweizen I see,” I shot back.
It was a running joke when we were dating, so it felt familiar. After that we fell into an easy conversation, sharing work stories, discussing our current favorite TV shows –The Pittfor Kimberly,Bridgertonfor me – and finally catching up on family stuff.
“Is your Mom still with Kurt?” I asked, referring to her stepfather.
Kimberly’s mom had remarried a couple of years after her divorce, and by all accounts, Kurt was a much better partner than her bio dad. I’d never met him, but I knew he took good care of the family and was well loved by Kimberly and her siblings.
“Yeah, they’re still blissfully happy,” she said with a small smile. “Those two are the definition of relationship goals. What’s new with your parents?”
I took a deep breath, well aware that some people judged me for this. “I cut them off.”
Kimberly blinked in surprise. “Really? What happened?”
My mind flashed to all the times one of my parents would call and I’d spend the rest of the day spiraling over whatever hatefulvitriol they’d subjected me to. Kimberly had suggested multiple times that I block their numbers, but I’d always blown it off. Turns out she was right.
“Remember I told you I got into therapy after we broke up?”
She nodded.
“I was in a dark place with losing my job and our break-up. Somewhere around month three of therapy, I started to see that keeping them in my life was too toxic. I dreaded talking to either of them, and my mother’s constant criticism and judgement just made me doubt myself.”
I met her gaze.
“And doubt you. She was always yammering about how you didn’t really love me, and I’m not proud of it, but it got in my head. Not that I’m absolving myself of responsibility,” I hastened to add, “but I finally realized that if I wasn’t related to them, I’d never have a relationship with two bitter and abusive people who didn’t even seem to like me.”
“Wow, that’s big,” Kimberly said after a short pause. “How has it been?”
“Best thing I ever did for myself other than starting therapy in the first place,” I said, picking up my beer and taking a long sip. “A lot of people have said, oh you’ll be sorry when they’re dead, or they love you in their own way and they just don’t know how to show it, but the thing is, I really don’t think either of thosethings are true. A lot of people don’t understand how horrible people can be if they haven’t experienced it for themselves.”
When I put my beer down, Kimberly reached across the table and gave my hand a firm squeeze. “I’m proud of you. I’m sure that was hard as hell.”
“It was,” I confirmed, “but it’s totally been worth it. And for what it’s worth, I wish I’d listened to you and done it much sooner than I did.”
“You did it when you were ready,” she said kindly.
“Yeah, and it’s been life changing.”
***
Three and a half years ago…
We were eating at a romantic Italian restaurant downtown, celebrating our one month anniversary. It was the kind of restaurant with candles on the tables and tables far enough away that it gave you the illusion of privacy.
My phone beeped. Seeing it was my mother, I grimaced and hit ‘ignore’. When it immediately started ringing again, Kimberly grabbed my phone out of my hand, turning it off.
“Don’t let your mother ruin our evening,” she said.
“It might be an emergency.”
“It’s never an emergency. She seems to have a sixth sense that tells her when you’re having fun and she needs to ruin it.”
“You’re right,” I said, slipping my phone into my purse. “I’ll call her tomorrow.”
Kimberly bit her lip as if she was trying to decide whether to say something but then something else caught her attention. There was a couple at the table across from us who were clearly on a date, leaning close to each other as they laughed and whispered. But from time to time they’d look around, like they were afraid they were being watched.
“They’re acting weird,” I noted, after the man stiffened as he watched someone come through the door, then relaxed when the person apparently wasn’t who he thought it was.
“That’s because they’re having an affair,” Kimberly had said, her voice both confident and disgusted.
