Page 66 of Delirium
“I didn’t forgive him,” I murmured, getting up from the floor and walking toward the sofa chair. Goddamn, I had no idea how he could sleep on this thing. “But he asked me to stay in his room and I agreed.”
“But, why?”
“Because I want to try to forgive him, Zoe.” I huffed. “I want to move on from things that are hurting my heart. I want to give him a chance to prove himself, to show me he can be trusted. We’re not together, not yet, but I want us to be. No matter what, I want us to be.” I looked up at her. “And because my previous room looks like a crime scene right now.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. But he’s not out of the doghouse, and he definitely isn’t sleeping in the same bed.” Unfortunately. “He made a mess, but he’s fixing it. He’s trying at least, and I can’t fault him for that. It’s not like I’m a saint.”
“I never said you were, but you were trying as well, and look what he did.”
“I know, Zoe.” I looked at her. “I know very well what he did. You don’t have to remind me every single time we have a conversation about these things. But I also know that the two of us are very complicated people, and I know that if he could change things, he would, but we can’t. I can’t erase the fact that I cheated on him or that I killed so many innocent people. I also can’t erase the fact that he got hurt because of me.”
“Phee—”
“Nope, hear me out.” I took a deep breath before speaking again. “We both made mistakes, but if we hold on to the things we did, we will never move on. I want us to move on. I want these kids to have parents who can communicate better than mine did. I don’t want them to grow up, surrounded by bitter, old people, constantly fighting with each other. That’s not the way to live, not for them and not for me.”
“I know, but I just want to smack him on his thick head for what he did to you.”
“Then you should be smacking me as well, because I did things no one should be proud of.”
“But you’ve changed.”
“And so has he,” I countered. “Zoe, I love you, you know that. I love that you’re so loyal to me, but Storm isn’t the villain of this story and neither am I. We’ve made mistakes. We realized that we never should have made them. We apologized and we’re trying to move on. I’m trying to learn to trust him again, and he’s trying to be better at letting me do things by myself.”
Her eyes widened more and more with every word that came out of my mouth. “Wow.” She blinked. “I never thought I would see the day.”
“Uh, I don’t get it.”
“You’re growing up.” She smiled softly, squeezing my knee. “Both of you knuckleheads are finally growing up, and it’s beautiful to see. But, Phee.” She looked pointedly at me. “If he screws up one more time, I’m going to stab him myself. Understood?”
I couldn’t stop the laughter bubbling out of my chest. “Absolutely. But he might want to strangle me when I tell him the news.”
“What is it?”
“Kieran found Maya,” I said without a minute to spare. “And by the sound of the things, they’re in danger. I don’t know what to do.”
“Phee.” The warning in her voice was as clear as day.
“I’m not going to do something reckless or stupid. That’s why I need to talk to him, to see if we could help in any way. Don’t look at me like that, Zoe. I’m not about to go to Mexico myself.”
“I know you.” She really did though. “I know how your brain works. I’m pretty sure that you would have been on your way by now if you knew exactly where they were.”
She did have a point there.
“But I’m still here, and I’m trying to be better at this whole communication shit. But I can’t talk to him until tonight, so you’ll have to entertain me.”
“Why can’t you talk to him?” She frowned. “He did do something, didn’t he?”
“No.” I laughed. “He didn’t do anything. But he’s doing something very important today, and I don’t want to distract him.”
“Okay.”
“But that means you’ll have to distract me from doing something crazy,” I said. Like going straight to Mexico to help them.
“Or,” she said, getting up from the bed. “You could just call Storm. I’m pretty sure he will get his ass here if you ask him to.”
I knew he would, but I didn’t want to distract him. I wanted him to fix this shit with Nico, but I also needed to tell him about Kieran.
