Page 39 of Delirium
“You’re trying to run away from me,” I grunted.
“No.” She shook her head. “This is me doing the right thing for both of us, Storm. This is me trying to think things through before acting on them. Trust me, I really did think about all of this. If I stay now, we might never be able to think about all those things that were holding us back. And if once everything is said and done, we still want to be with each other, then we will be.”
“Please,” I broke down. “Please, don’t leave me.”
“I need time,” she whimpered. “Time to set my head straight. Time to be healthy for these kids. Time to figure out who was behind all of this.”
“I can protect you. I can give you all those things,” I argued, pleading with her. “Just please don’t leave, darling. I don’t want you to go.”
“I have to,” she sobbed, tears cascading down her face. It broke me seeing her like this. It hurt knowing that I was the reason for her tears, and I was the reason for both of our heartaches. “I have to get away from you and you have to get away from me for a little while. It isn’t healthy what we had, Storm. All these lies, all those times when we didn’t communicate, none of it is healthy.”
“But—”
“No, Storm,” she said and squeezed my bicep. “We need to do this. We need to figure things out on our own. I’m still going to be near. I’m not going to disappear from your life, but I need time alone.”
I didn’t want her to be alone. I didn’t want to be alone. What was the point of everything we went through if in the end we wouldn’t be together?
“You know,” I started. “When I found you in that warehouse, I thought I hated you,” I mumbled. “But I didn’t. Not really.” I took a deep breath and looked at her. “I’m going to give you time, Ophelia. I’ll give you time until the twins are born, but then I’m coming for you. I’m coming and there’s nothing you could do to stop me. I lost you twice already, and I’m not going to lose you a third time.”
“Storm—”
“No.” I shook my head. “You want time, fine. I’ll give you time. I agree that we need to figure things out, but just because I’m giving you time, it doesn’t mean I’m giving up on us. I will never give up, Sunshine. Never.”
“I know.” She smiled through her tears. “I know you won’t.”
What she didn’t know was that I wouldn’t let her go through this pregnancy alone. She might choose to leave the compound, but I would make sure that she could never forget about me. I would be a constant reminder of what was waiting for us at the end of the road, no matter what it took.
Days, nights, hell, I would even abandon my position in the Club if it meant having her.
I meant what I said—I wasn’t going to lose her again. This time… This time she was going to be mine forever.
9
OPHELIA
The house was quiet,half-empty once we finally reached our destination, and all I wanted was to lie down in my bed and cry for weeks. Something broke inside of me, but I knew I was making the right decision.
We needed time separately to figure things out. We had to work on ourselves if we wanted to make this work. Both of us carried too much anger, resentment and pain, and we had to learn how to quiet those demons of ours if we wanted to move on.
I didn’t want to build a life with him if we didn’t know how to communicate. I didn’t want to build a life with him if we were going to be at each other’s throats for the smallest things. I wanted us to live in harmony, not to fight every step of the way. I was determined to break this generational trauma where family life was a catastrophe with parents constantly fighting.
If Storm and I wanted to make this work, we had to work through our own trauma first, before the kids came. I didn’t want them to have the same life as I had. I didn’t want them to be woken up at six in the morning by their parents shouting at each other.
I didn’t want them to flinch every time a door slammed, or to feel as if they weren’t enough. Resentment often followed people who grew up like that, and I didn’t want that for them.
Storm walked with me through the doors, greeting the guards stationed at the entrance. The majority of the Club was in Emercroft Lake now, figuring out the Judah and Logan situation, Cillian and the guys helping with the same.
Skylar was nowhere near Winworth right now, but Storm was right in a way—I could have gotten her killed. I shouldn’t have let her go out like that, alone and unprotected, but I wanted to help her. I wanted to show her that she could have control over her life, that these guys of hers weren’t the ones who needed to protect her.
If she didn’t know how to protect herself, then nothing else mattered. Dylan and Ash weren’t made of stone, and sooner rather than later, she would have found out that even the strongest ones broke if too much burden was put on them.
But I miscalculated the situation, and I put them all in danger. It didn’t matter that I was trying to help, I still messed up. Maybe it wasn’t only my mess-up, but I should have known better.
“Are you going to pack now, or…?” Storm asked as soon as we walked through the doors, stopping at the bottom of the staircase leading to the first floor where our rooms were.
“I’m too tired for that,” I answered. “I’m going to leave packing for tomorrow and I’ll talk to Zoe about staying at her place.”
His face lit up like a Christmas tree, and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head.
