Page 30 of Delirium
My head swiveled toward him. I couldn’t blame him for trying to fix our shit. He thought he was doing us a favor, bringing us back together, thinking that if I met her father, if we both put our past behind us, we would be able to move forward.
But this opened my eyes, and that conversation with Lazar showed me how much I was hurting her. I was keeping her back, and Ophelia was meant for a lot more than this.
She needed someone who could always put her first, who didn’t have a truck full of baggage from his past. She needed someone who didn’t need to think twice about all these things.
The guys quickly crossed the parking lot toward the car left for Indigo to use, leaving Ophelia and me alone, while a thousand emotions played over both of our faces.
“What did he tell you?” Ophelia asked, looking toward the car we had to use.
“The truth,” I said matter-of-factly. “He finally opened my eyes.”
I didn’t wait for her before I started walking toward the car, expecting her to follow me, which she did. She followed me across this parking lot, just how she followed me across the country, going along with everything I put on her.
The sound of the door opening and closing as we got inside the car felt louder than it really was, but the silence enveloping the two of us into its embrace was stronger than the emotions coursing through us.
I could see it on her face when I looked at her as I turned on the ignition—she was bracing herself for an impact.
The heating system quickly kicked in, and as I exited the gas station, driving toward the highway, she turned to look at me, waiting for me to talk.
“We need to talk,” I mumbled, keeping my eyes on the road.
“So, talk, Storm,” she said with zero emotion in her voice, making me wince involuntarily. “I’m waiting.”
This Ophelia reminded me of the girl ready to take on the world. This version of her reminded me of that day in the Clubhouse when her father attacked us, after I told her I wanted her gone.
The pine trees became thicker the further we were going up into the mountain, and the sign for Winworth and Emercroft Lake indicating the distance between us and those places made my blood run cold. But I needed to focus on her, on us, and what I needed to say.
“I never meant to hurt you,” I blurted out first. “Well, no. I meant to hurt you, but not in the way it happened.”
She kept quiet, looking at me with ice in her eyes.
“I want you to know that I’ve meant every single word I said to you. My heart will always be yours. My soul will always want to be with yours.” It would, but I needed her to know that she always had a choice. I wouldn’t keep her back if she didn’t want to stay.
The hitch in her breathing was the only indication that she was really listening.
“You told me earlier that I should let you go, that I shouldn’t keep you with me because it was hurting us both, and maybe you were right. I was just too stubborn to see it back then.”
“What changed?” she asked flatly, never once moving her gaze away from me.
“Lazar,” I answered. “He told me some things, and I finally realized that I did it all wrong. I finally realized that I shouldn’t be holding you back.”
“So,” she chuckled angrily, “you’re going to make that choice for me. You’re going to be the one to tell me who I should and shouldn’t be with, or who is enough for me?”
Fuck, I was screwing this all up.
“Phee, don’t make this harder than it is,” I groaned. “I’m giving you options. I don’t want to be hot and cold anymore. I didn’t know how to let you in and—”
“You’re not giving me options,” she argued. “You’re giving yourself an option. You’re being a coward.”
“Ophelia—”
“Save it,” she cut me off and turned her head toward the road. “I should have known, but that’s on me.”
“You should have known what?” I asked, hating the coldness in her words.
“I should have known that you would never be able to keep your word. I should have known that I was never the villain in this fucked-up love story of ours.” She looked at me. “You were. You and your weak fucking mind.”
“Come on,” I groaned. “I never thought you were the villain.”
