Page 27 of Delirium
“Are you okay?” he asked. I knew he wasn’t just asking about my physical health. His body was rigid, ready for an attack, and I had to defuse the situation if I didn’t want another war.
I nodded, slowly stepping back. “I am.” I smiled. “I’m okay. I’m much better now, knowing that you’re here.”
“Well, if you told me to come and get you, you know you wouldn’t have to wait for this day to be with me.”
“I know that, but…” I looked over my shoulder, seeing Storm as he approached us. “I’m stubborn.” I looked back at Lazar. “It must be the genes.”
“The genes?” he exclaimed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Asterovs are not stubborn. We are mild, easygoing people.”
“Riiight,” I drawled, chuckling. “And I’m a fairy godmother.”
“Uh, what?”
“It’s a saying, Dad.” I laughed, squeezing his hand.
Time froze, Lazar’s eyes widening at my choice of words, and it took me a second to realize what I’d just blurted out.
“I’m sorry.” I placed a hand over my mouth. “I didn’t… I’ll understand if you don’t want to—”
“Katya—”
“No, no.” I shook my head, stepping further away from him. “It just came out. I’m sorry—”
“Ophelia!” Lazar barked, taking a step toward me. I was avoiding his eyes, avoiding the rejection that was no doubt going to come.
Just because he was nice toward me, just because he’d been trying to help me, didn’t mean that he wanted me to call him dad.
Fuck, what was I thinking?
“Ophelia Ekaterina Asterova,” he mumbled, taking my hand, and pulling me closer to him. “Look at me, dorogoy,” he urged, but I couldn’t do it. “Katya, look at me.”
I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“Yeah, you can. Come on. You’re my little dragon, my fierce warrior, you can do it.”
Nikolai called me his dragon, but never with affection. Those words sounded more like a curse coming from his mouth, than a gift. I’d lived my life believing I was cursed because of my heritage, because of the blood coursing through my veins, but Lazar… Lazar said those words as a prayer, as something he often thought about.
Slowly, carefully, I lifted my head and looked at Lazar. His eyes shone with unshed tears, the stoic man he usually was disappearing right in front of my eyes. From everything he did and everything he said, it was obvious that he wanted a relationship with me, but I often wondered what kind.
He asked me to lead the Syndicate, and my distrustful mind immediately thought the worst, making me believe that he only approached me because they needed a monkey they could control. Even a blind person could see I wanted to have a family.
A proper family.
Proper holidays.
Hell, I wanted to have someone who loved me. I thought he played on that card, pretending to care just to get me to agree.
“You’re my daughter, Ophelia,” he murmured, moving the hair behind my ear. “You are my blood, my flesh, and I have waited twenty-five years to hear that word come out of your mouth. I don’t want to wait anymore.”
“You don’t have to lie to me, you know? I would be okay even if you don’t want to have that kind of a relationship with me.”
“God, you’re stubborn,” Lazar groaned. “Do you really think I would be here if I didn’t want you in my life, Ophelia? Do you really think I would have stayed in the States after I finished all the things that needed to be wrapped up, if I didn’t want to have a relationship with you?”
“I just thought—”
“You thought wrong,” he whispered. “Look around you,” he said, looking over my shoulder. “You have people who love you. Even though I would like to slap that boy of yours for giving you these sad eyes, it’s obvious he loves you. Hell,” Lazar chuckled, looking at Storm, “he’s like a lost puppy, darling. If you gave him a command to attack me, he would, even though he knows he wouldn’t be able to survive all my soldiers.”
“No.” I shook my head. “He might care about me and he says he loves me, but that’s not…” I trailed off as I looked behind me, to where Storm stood.
