Page 22 of Delirium
I wouldn’t have minded him saying shit about me and trying to be all macho, but my kids…
Maybe this anger now came more from the fact that I knew his little secret now. I knew who he preferred fucking, hurting Atlas over and over again. I knew because I saw him as I passed next to his room, but I probably shouldn’t have told Atlas about it.
“What are you looking at?” I sneered, my throat still sore from when he tried to choke me.
“I’m looking at—”
“Indigo,” Storm warned from my left. “Stop that shit.”
“She fucking started it,” Indigo whined. “I didn’t doshit.”
“Is that because you have a hard time finishing things?” I mocked him. “Or is it—”
“Ophelia,” Storm called out. “I just want to get there without you two killing each other.”
“Well, he did try to kill me.” I snickered. “But he failed.”
“It’s because you’re like a cockroach,” Indigo exclaimed. “We need a special weapon to get rid of you.”
“Indigo!” Storm thundered. “No one is getting rid of anyone. Fucking quit it and shut up.”
“But I’m hungry.” I pouted. “And we passed the sign for Winworth almost an hour ago.”
Storm took a hold of my hand, squeezing it between our legs. I knew this was hard on him. This entire trip was one major trigger. The closer we got to Winworth, the more withdrawn he was. I wished we were on better speaking terms, and I hated that I couldn’t help him.
I was too stubborn for my own good, but would he even want my help? Would he even accept it after everything? He was adamant that he wanted to get me back, but so far nothing had happened. He didn’t come to me this morning; Atlas picked me up. He didn’t even talk to me and I would like to lie and say that it didn’t suck.
Especially after seeing Nova from afar this morning, when Atlas had to hold me from going after her fucking ass.
But feeling his energy, knowing he was suffering from this trip alone, opened a dam in my heart I was keeping closed, and I poured everything I had in me to him. I entwined my fingers with his, tightening my grip. As I looked up at him, the emotions burning in his eyes knocked the breath out of my lungs.
“We’re not going to Winworth,” Atlas said, answering my previous question. “We’re going to Emercroft Lake.”
“Why?”
“Because Ash and his crew had to get the fuck out of Winworth,” Indigo piped in. “Because things went from bad to worse.”
“Did Lars finally answer?” Creed asked, his eyes firmly focused on the road as he drove. “The last time he spoke to us was back in August, and since then, nothing.”
“Who the fuck is Lars?” I asked and looked at Storm. Just another secret kept from me.
“He’s a man who knows more about the fucking cult operating in Winworth than anyone else,” Storm answered, looking out the window.
“And we’re sure he’s not actually the one orchestrating the entire thing? How do we know he’s not the one supporting Belladonna?” I asked, hating that it was yet another thing they kept me in the dark about.
I slowly started removing my hand from his, but he wasn’t having it. He tightened his hold on me, and pulled my hand into his lap, covering it with his other hand, his palm sweaty. He tried looking calm and collected, but I knew him well enough to know that he was anything but calm.
He hated being here. He hated being this close to Winworth. It didn’t matter we weren’t going to go into the city. He still hated this part of the country, reminding him of all those years when nobody helped him. When no one cared about the little boy with stars in his eyes, leaving him defenseless.
I wished I could go back in time, to help him, to stop it all from happening, but if the past hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t be here. We wouldn’t have been able to find our way to each other. Even though I wasn’t sure about us being together, deep inside of me, I knew I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Telling him I wished that we never would have met was a low blow, but I couldn’t stop myself. I hated that lost look on his face when he realized I was telling the truth. In reality, I wished we never would have met because then he never would have gotten hurt and I would have been able to continue living my life, hiding in the shadows.
Loving other people would only lead to destruction, yet here I was, unable to stop my heart from beating for him.
“We know him,” Indigo said, looking straight ahead. “We know of him, but Lars isn’t his real name. I don’t know where he came from, or why he’s helping us, but there aren’t many people that know about Black Dahlia like he does. We weren’t going to waste this opportunity. Ash needed information, we needed information, so we got it.”
I understood that, but I still didn’t like it. I didn’t like having this unknown man in our business, but I had no choice. It wasn’t like they had asked me for my opinion before doing stupid ass shit. It wasn’t like they all trusted me.
