Page 14 of Delirium
He wanted this.
He wanted me weak, defenseless, at his mercy, and he thought he was winning. I should probably be thanking him for showing me who he really was. For showing me that he could never handle me.
“Don’t leave me,” he whispered, the ghost of his touch lingering above my shoulder. “Don’t you dare leave me, Ophelia.”
“You left me first,” I answered, still frozen in the same spot. “This isn’t on me.” I turned around and threw the last piece of fabric at him. “This is on you.”
His legs closed the distance between us, his bare chest glistening with sweat. I knew he just came back from the gym, barreling in here as if he had a right. My eyes roamed over his wide shoulders, over the tattoos lining his torso, memorizing every curve, every dip, knowing I would never have it again.
I would never put my hands on him. I would never hold him tight while he told me stories of his life.
I would never get to place my lips on that strong jawline. As my eyes connected with his, I could see the torment swirling deep inside his irises, regret eating him alive, but there was nothing more in me to give.
I had nothing left to spare, and I wasn’t going to give him the last piece of my heart reserved for my children.
“It wasn’t meant to go this far,” he grunted, lowering his head toward mine, his lips mere inches from mine. His breath washed over my face, the mint and leather scent sneaking inside my nostrils, pushing against the ugly demons demanding his head for what he did to us.
They didn’t want to play with him anymore. They didn’t want to love him anymore. They wanted to destroy his peace just how he destroyed ours.
“I swear I never meant to hurt you.”
“Those are such pretty words, Stormy.” I chuckled, pressing the tip of my blade to the column of his throat. “So many words, but no actions. I’m still swimming in the sea of your lies, trying to find the shore where I can finally rest, and it’s nowhere in sight.”
“Sunshine,” he murmured.
“Don’t,” I bit out. “Don’t call me that. You have no right, Storm. You have no right to be here.”
“I know,” he murmured, closing his eyes, pushing himself against the tip of my knife. His skin tore open, the crimson swimming down his chest, mixing with the sweat on his skin. “I know I have no right.”
His hands stayed by his sides, but it didn’t matter. His presence alone made me feel weak in my knees. I didn’t have to have his hands on my body to feel again, to break through the numbness.
But it wasn’t love that broke through. It was the anger he pulled from me. It was the months of pent-up rage that lived inside of me, waiting to be released.
I should have sharpened my claws better. I should have learned to bite every single person who wanted to disrupt my plans, but I allowed him to steer me off of my path. I allowed him to play with my heart, because I craved someone to love me for who I was.
I thought he was the one. My entire being was ready to give him my everything, but he didn’t deserve one single ounce of my bleeding heart.
“Tell me, Stormy.” I cackled, dragging my blade down his torso, all the way to the waistband of his shorts. “Did it make you laugh, seeing me broken like that, standing at the entrance while all my dreams crashed around my feet, breaking into a million tiny pieces?”
He shook his head, the remorse evident on his face, but I didn’t need pretty words wrapped in a shiny package. I needed actions, and he failed to make them happen.
“Did you guys laugh at my expense, knowing how much it must have hurt me seeing you with her?”
“No,” he grunted, shivering underneath the cold steel pressed against his stomach. “I didn’t laugh.”
“Could have fooled me. All you ever did was use me. All you ever did was make a fool out of me, but not anymore, Storm. You don’t get to have me and your Club at the same time.”
“You. Are. Not. Leaving,” he breathed out. “You are not breaking us.”
“There is no us!” I thundered. “There never will be an us, Storm. My God, how stupid can you be?”
“Phee—”
“What did you expect, Storm? Huh? I told you already. I told you a million times… I want someone to choose me for me,” I snapped. “I want someone to love me with all my fucked-up, broken pieces, without trying to change the core of who I am. I stayed, Storm! I fucking stayed for you, thinking something would change, hoping you would be man enough to come back to me. I waited and waited and waited, but you chose every other person over me. For fuck’s sake, Storm, you’re walking around with her, and you know what she did. You know who she is.”
“I do.”
“Then why?” I barked. “Tell me fucking why are you doing this? Why are you breaking my heart?”
