Page 70 of Delirium
“Tesoro,” Nico murmured, his voice wavering as she spoke. “I’m so sorry, Tesoro. I’m sorry.”
I had a feeling he would be in a lot of trouble once he got home, but it was interesting watching him like this, afraid of his own wife. Nico kept mumbling into the phone, apologizing, telling her he loved her. Instead of holding him up, I led him toward a table right next to the bar, and pulled the chair out, putting him down.
It was easier than holding him up, making sure he didn’t fall.
A hand on my shoulder made me turn around. Ophelia was standing right behind me, her eyes smiling at the drunk man sitting just in front of us.
“He’s really drunk,” she murmured, going on her tiptoes. Her breath washed over my neck, sending shivers all over my body. My eyes closed of their own volition, my body fighting against the urge to take her back to the Clubhouse and lock her inside the room where I knew she would be safe.
Every atom in my body screamed at me, wanting to protect her, to take her as far away from here as possible, because I knew she wasn’t safe, even though we were in the middle of my territory. If she only knew half of how I felt about everything, she would’ve smacked me days ago.
But I meant what I said to her—she didn’t need my protection. She didn’t need me to lock her in a golden tower, while I dealt with the dangers surrounding us. I wanted to show her that I could let go, that I could trust her with her own choices.
“You didn’t answer your phone,” Ophelia whispered, her eyes firmly plastered on drunk Nico. “I was worried about you.”
She was?
I wasn’t questioning the feelings she had for me, but I also knew how much I fucked up—how much both of us fucked up—and we both needed time to heal the wounds we’d inflicted on each other. As much as it pained me to say, she was the more rational one in this relationship, not me. Because all I wanted since our trip to Emercroft Lake was to hold her and never let her go.
That whole fiasco where I tried telling her that I was letting her go was the stupidest thing I ever did, and I knew she would remember it for the rest of her life. I guess I just had to show her that I didn’t mean it.
Her happiness always came first, and I meant it when I said that if she was going to be happier without me, I would let her go. But words never came easily to me, and instead of explaining it properly, I made a bigger mess than before.
“You were worried?” I smiled, lacing my fingers with hers just as she placed her head on my shoulder, nodding after my question.
“I mean, I had no idea if the two of you would kill each other or simply talk like grownups.” She lifted her head, looking up at me. “I know you can take care of yourself, but still.” Ophelia shrugged as if it pained her to admit that she worried for my safety. “I don’t trust many people, and knowing you were out here with Nico, while the real threat still existed… It just didn’t sit well with me.”
“Sunshine.” I lowered my voice, taking a step back from Nico, along with Ophelia. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not the target this time around.”
“Yeah, I know. But still…” she trailed off. “I worry. I don’t know how to explain it, but I have a feeling that things are just starting to get messy, and I don’t like it.”
“Sunshine,” I murmured. “We have people that can help. People who are capable of protecting you and themselves.”
“It’s not that. It’s the fact that I now have these two kids to protect. It was easy just thinking about myself because I know I can fight. I can defend myself. I can run, but they can’t. What if something happens to them, Storm?” she asked, her eyes filled with worry. “What if I ruin their lives how my parents ruined mine? What if they hate me?”
“They’re not going to hate you, Sunshine,” I said. “Where is this coming from? You never told me any of these concerns before.”
“Because it didn’t feel real before. I don’t think that I truly realized how vicious our world is before today. Well, before I found Nova snooping through my things. What if they can’t defend themselves, Storm?”
“Then we’ll teach them,” I said. “We’ll teach them how to be both vicious and kind. We’ll teach them to love wholeheartedly, but to also keep themselves protected. We’ll teach them that not everyone is a friend and that family always comes first. We will love them, Phee. I already love them.” I smiled, splaying my fingers over her stomach. “I love them more than anything, and I know you love them too.”
“I do.”
“It’s normal to be afraid. Hell, I wish our parents were thinking about all these things when they were having us. I wish they worried about our safety and how we would survive in this vicious world.”
“I don’t want them to end up like me,” she whispered, looking at the floor. “I want them to love the simple things in life, not to be filled with regrets over the things they did and over the things they didn’t do, you know?”
Squeezing her fingers, I hoped she would be able to take the strength from me. I hoped she could see what an amazing mother she would be.
She was already better than my mother, better than hers as well. Since she became pregnant, she’s been putting the needs of our kids above her own, and I knew she would always protect them from the evil this world was infected with. She would protect them even from herself if that was needed, but she would never harm them.
“Phee,” I murmured, pulling her closer to me until her chest pressed against mine, and she had no other choice but to look up at me. “How about we get out of here? I saw your message and I know there’s something you want to tell me.”
“But what about Nico?”
“Zoe can take him to the Clubhouse to sleep this off. I think you need to get out of the house for a bit.”
“God,” she groaned. “I really do. I feel like I’m going crazy in there.”
