Page 53 of Delirium
“I will understand if you really don’t want to,” he said, looking down at his hands in his lap. “I’ll have guards with you at all times. And again, I know you don’t need them, but humor me.” He looked up. “Please. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything happened to the three of you.”
“Storm—”
“I’m not trying to go against your wishes, you know. I hear you. I understand that I fucked up, but I just—”
“Storm!” I thundered, stopping his little babble. The fear staring back at me was too much to bear. The fear of rejection, of losing me, losing our kids, I didn’t want him to be miserable. I wanted him to focus on the person who needed to pay for all the things she did. “Before you give yourself a stroke, breathe,” I murmured, rubbing circles over his back.
He exhaled sharply, as if he’d been holding a breath for longer than necessary.
“Good. Now,” I shuffled closer to him and took his hand in mine, “every nerve ending in my body is telling me to get out of here.” He stiffened at my words. “But those nerve endings are used to how things were, not how things should be. They’re used to me running away, hiding from feelings, and avoiding confrontation with people I care about. And right now, the right thing for me is to stay here where I could be protected.”
His eyes widened. “Really?” Storm asked. “You’ll stay?”
“Yes.” I nodded. “I’ll stay, but that doesn’t mean the two of us are back together.”
The hope shining in his eyes quickly deflated at my words, but before I could even continue talking, it disappeared, replaced by a cool-and-collected mask he was used to wearing.
“I understand.”
“I need time, Storm. Time to come to terms with everything and time to understand my place in your life.”
“Ophelia—”
“No, look,” I cut him off. “I know you want me with you. You said as much yourself, but the two of us have a history of saying one thing and doing something completely different. So, I’ll stay but under two conditions,” I said.
“Anything.”
No questions asked, anything I wanted, he would do it. I knew that, which was why it was even harder staying away from him.
“The two of us need to stay away from each other for the time being.”
His brows furrowed, and I could see the denial lingering on the tips of his lips, but he said nothing.
“What is the second one?”
“I want to be involved, Storm. I want to know what’s happening and I wanna help. I want to include Cillian as well.”
He took a deep breath and squeezed my hand. “Okay.”
Okay? No arguments, no you-need-to-stay-safe bullshit?
“Really?” I exclaimed, my eyes widening.
“Yeah.” He smiled. “Really.”
Maybe now wasn’t the best time to mention Maya and Kieran. He seemed happy, content even, and I didn’t want us to get into another argument.
“There’s one more thing though,” I blurted out, avoiding his eyes.
“What is it?”
How should I put it in words?Oh, hey, Stormy. My long-lost sister is possibly coming home soon, and guess what? She’s going to be with Kieran, who you hate and want to kill, but I still want to go and see her.
Yeah, I could already see how that would go over.
“Kieran found Maya,” I said, pulling my hand out of his hold, waiting for the volcanic eruption to sweep me off of my feet. Or well, my knees if we were going to be technical. “And I want to go see her once she’s back.”
Silence ensued, our breathing filling the space between us, but at least he didn’t shout. Right?
