Page 44 of Oblivion
I looked to the side, feeling his eyes on my face.
“You don’t have to hide from me,” he stated. “I know we’re talking about me right now, but we will need to talk about you too and the fact that you’re constantly running away from Storm.”
I winced at that and turned around toward the window. It was surprisingly sunny for Ventus City, and I wondered if this weather would hold for the rest of the day. I was trying to ignore the remark Cillian made.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied. “I’m doing it—”
“For his good,” Cillian finished for me. “We both know that’s a load of bull, but whatever helps you sleep at night, Birdy. I’ll go now and we will finish this conversation some other time.”
I swirled around, arching an eyebrow at him. “How did we go from talking about you to talking about me?”
“It’s a magic trick.” He chuckled, but that smile never reached his eyes. “I gotta go now, but…” he looked pointedly at me. “One hour and I’m expecting to see you downstairs. And wash your hair.”
My hand automatically shot up toward my hair, touching the knotted strands at the back. He had a point, but the annoyance swirling in my gut wouldn’t let my mind move away from what he said.
I couldn’t voice it, couldn’t even think about it, so how could I tell Cillian that the reason I constantly ran from Storm was because, deep down inside my heart, I knew I wasn’t worthy of love. I wasn’t worthy of Storm, and after what I did, I wasn’t worthy of happiness.
It wasn’t my knife that placed him in the hospital, but my actions were the ones that took him away from the Club. If only I wasn’t such an insecure, terrified little girl, I would’ve talked about my issues with him. But my emotional intelligence equaled one of a toddler and throwing tantrums and running away were easier than facing the truth.
Maybe one day I would be able to admit everything out loud.
One day I would be able to say that I was scared to be loved.
13
OPHELIA
I didn’t recognizethe person staring back at me in the mirror.
It was me, but it also wasn’t me. At least not the me I was used to.
The girl I often saw in the mirror had sunken eyes, pale skin, hair up in a ponytail or just generally disheveled, and she looked like she'd just crawled out of a swamp. But this girl… This girl glowed.
My hair fell over my shoulders in soft waves, shining underneath the light. My eyelids were masterfully colored with soft brown and taupe colors, finished with the sharp yet thin eyeliner, making my blue eyes pop even more.
The foundation made my skin glow and the bronzer they applied to my cheeks made me look otherworldly. It just… It wasn’t me.
Not entirely.
“I-I look,” I stammered, pressing my hands to my stomach, unable to look away.
“Otherworldly,” Eric, the stylist who came in, said from behind me. “Like a Goddess,” he gasped. “Goddess Emilia.”
My entire face scrunched as compliments kept rolling off his tongue, the new name I was supposed to get used to, sounding foreign, while his hands held my shoulders, as if he too knew that I was about five minutes from running away from here.
Still wearing my sweatpants and the white tank top, I could see all my tattoos, all my scars, and I knew it was still me. I was essentially still the same devil they all feared, but this makeup, this hair… it made me think of Ava, of Maya as well, and all those nights we’d spent together, dressing up for no one in particular.
Maya was the one who bought me my first lip gloss. As I touched my crimson-colored lips, I hated that she still wasn’t here with me, and Cillian didn’t want to disclose her location.
“Kieran is on it,” he'd said, as if he didn’t know that I had trust issues. I was a control freak who rarely trusted that other people could do the same job I could. But he was also right when he said that I couldn’t be in three places at the same time.
Unless I wanted to fail at all of them, then I had to be patient and wait.
I tilted my head to the left and then right, and saw Cillian approaching me from behind, carrying something in his hands.
“What’s that?” I asked, looking at him through the mirror. Eric stepped aside, eyeing Cillian with obvious interest. I almost laughed when Cillian winked at him.
But when Cillian placed something on my neck, I looked back at him then at the necklace he was clasping in the back.
