Page 109 of Oblivion
“Ophelia.” Zoe suddenly stood up, pulling me back from my thoughts. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t fucking breathe.
There was a brick right on top of my chest, pushing me into the soft cushions of this table or whatever the fuck it was, but I couldn’t move it. I clawed at my chest with my fingers, trying to remove the pressure, to release the breath stuck in my lungs, but it wouldn’t move.
“You’re turning blue, Phee,” Zoe said, grabbing my hand. “Breathe with me. Come on, in…” she inhaled. “And out…” she exhaled.
“I-I can’t,” I choked. “Zoe—”
“Yes, you can.” She smiled softly. “Come on, Phee. In and out. Slowly, breathe with me.”
“He doesn’t want us.” I hyperventilated. “And I told him I was letting him go. But I don’t want to let him go,” I cried, looking at her. “I don’t want to let any of this go and I don’t know how to stay and go through all of this.”
“You’re going to be fine, Phee.” She caressed my cheek. “You’re going to be fine because you have us. You have me, Atlas, Cillian, Tristan, even Indigo. You have all of us. Come on. Breathe for me, Phee. You need to calm down.”
I tried and tried and tried, but my body wasn’t cooperating, my mind pushing all these images, telling me I wasn’t good enough. Telling me I would fail at yet another thing, and this was something I couldn’t fail at.
“I never wanted kids before,” I whimpered. “I couldn’t imagine myself as a mother, but now… Now I want them. I want them. Zoe,” I grasped her hand in a tight grip. “I don’t want it to be taken away from me.”
“No one will take your kid away from you, darling.” She tried calming me down, but it wasn’t working. Nothing was working.
“I want Storm,” I cried, my emotions getting the better of me, mixed with my crazy fucking hormones and the anxiety rocking my body. “And he doesn’t want me, Zoe. Why?”
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” She huffed, immediately letting go of my hand, and stepping toward the door.
I clawed at my throat, trying to open my larynx, to take a breath, but there was no use. I would be terrible at this. Hell, I was getting a panic attack just by thinking about it. I would fail.
I would fucking fail and they would take my kid away from me, and it was the only thing that could love me, that wouldn’t judge me.
“Sunshine.” His voice came from my left side, but I knew I was imagining it. He wasn’t here. I told him not to come. I told him because he doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want us. “Hey, hey.” Strong hands took mine in, and I held onto that lifeline.
“Look at me, Ophelia,” he murmured, pressing his lips to my hands and as I turned my head, I saw the worried, blue-green eyes, shining for me. “That’s right. Come on. Breathe for me, baby. Slowly, slowly,” he mumbled, calming me down.
“Storm?” I choked out, holding his hands with a punishing grip, but my breathing slowly leveled out. I followed his breathing, inhaling and exhaling, filling my lungs with much-needed air.
“I’m here, baby girl.” He dragged his hand over my hair, and leaned over, pressing his lips to my forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“What… How—”
“Did you really think I would let you go alone even if you didn’t want me here?” He smiled slowly, looking at me how he used to – with care and need and something akin to love. He looked proud, sitting here, lending me his strength.
“But, you said—”
“I was an idiot.” He chuckled. “I was a motherfucking idiot, darling, but I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere.”
The door suddenly opened, revealing the doctor who examined me almost one hour ago and who took enough of my blood to fuel a motherfucking blood bank.
“Oh good,” Doctor Pavlowski said, grinning at the pissed-off expression on Storm’s face. “Dad is here as well.”
“Your doctor is a guy?” Storm gritted out, his eyes following the doctors every move. “I don’t like it.”
“Well, I didn’t like seeing Nova coming out of your room today, but we don’t always get what we want.”
His eyes narrowed at me, making me chuckle, that little green monster staring back at me through his eyes. He was jealous of my doctor.
Storm’s hands tightened around mine, his body completely turning toward the doctor as if the man would jump on me right this moment.
“You’re going to change doctors,” he grunted when the doctor started going through the papers he brought inside. “Like, immediately. You need to have a female doctor.”
“Absolutely not.” I smiled. “Doctor Pavlowski is the best one.”
