Page 22 of Oblivion
I stopped in my tracks. “Was I that obvious?”
“No, not to the rest of the world, but I know you.”
Crickets chirped around us, bringing the dark forest alive along with the other animals that decided to join in, while I ignored what he said.
It was easier pretending than thinking about the fact that there was a gaping hole inside my chest. If I started thinking abouthimand how I'd left things this morning, I would hightail it from here and go to him.
But I couldn’t do that.
I could never see him again. God, it felt like a thousand lashes whipping over my heart every time I thought about it. Ignorance was the best cure, and one day, Storm would thank me for letting him go.
I never understood that bullshit sentence about letting what you love go. I mean, we were supposed to fight for those we loved, weren’t we? We were supposed to do everything in our power to show them how much they meant to us, right? But if I had to choose between fearing for his life because he was with me or living with this pain from a distance, I would choose this every single time.
Now, I just needed to make sure that he wouldn’t be able to find me again.
“Come on, Phee. Last time I checked, Vincent was sleeping. You can wait until tomorrow to try and get some information out of him.”
“Any luck with your IT guy?” I asked, following him toward the cabin. “I have a feeling that Vincent won’t be very cooperative, all things considered.”
“Oh, I am not worried about that.” Cillian laughed and unlocked the front door. “I know his type. He isn’t a soldier and wasn't trained like one. He will talk. Just give it some time.”
“We don’t have time,” I gritted out. “I need him to talk now.”
“No.” Cillian stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned to me. “What you need is a long-ass shower and a nap. Once you’ve had that, then you can do whatever the fuck you want. Until then, I don’t want to see you going anywhere near him.”
“Are you protecting him?”
“I’m protecting you,” he bit out and stalked toward me. “Recklessness won’t bring you the answers you’re seeking. After what happened this morning, I highly doubt you’re as calm as you’re pretending to be.”
“You don’t know everything, Kill.”
“Maybe.” He shrugged. “But I know that I will drag you to bed even if you hate me for it. So let’s not make this messy, and let’s not fight between ourselves, when we both have an enemy who needs to be flushed out.”
He was right. God, I hated that he was right. If I went to Vincent right now, I would get nothing but one more murder on my hands. Not that he didn’t deserve it, but we needed answers. Whoever The Syndicate and the Outfit was working with, apart from the Albanians, was someone powerful enough and someone who hated me more than those three organizations.
“Fine.” I huffed, surrendering at last. The fight evaporated from my body and the tiredness I was trying to ignore was suddenly catching up with me, holding my limbs in its unforgiving claws.
This whole mess was going on for far too long, and I wanted it to stop. I never thought I would be the one asking for a calm and peaceful life. Yet here I was, standing in the hallway of a cabin I didn’t own, at twenty-five years old, and the only things I managed to keep over the years were scars and more trauma.
I liked to blame my father for everything I went through, but I was the one pulling the trigger every single time. I was the one running, and I was the one hiding. I couldn’t lie anymore and say that everything I did was only to find Maya, because it wasn’t.
She was found now. Kieran was getting her, but why couldn’t I stop fighting? Even the death of the monster I always blamed for everything bad didn’t appease the bloodlust fighting for dominance inside my body. Would I ever be able to stop?
Bad people always existed—behead one snake, the other one just took its place, right? But was I fighting now because I had to, or because I didn’t know how to stop?
“Your room is down the hallway and then the first door on your left,” Cillian said as he came back to the entrance hallway where he'd left me earlier. I didn’t like the concern on his face. I wasn’t used to having help or people actually caring enough to have me fed, well-rested and safe. But he cared.
He always cared, hadn’t he?that inner bitch I often tried to mute piped in.You were just too blinded by Kieran to see who the better option was.
Maybe if I actually looked at Cillian the way I used to look at Kieran, none of us would be in this situation. Maybe I chose the wrong brother. I knew that there was never anything between Kill and me, and there never would be. He loved me as a sister and I loved him as a brother. But lately, I’ve been thinking about all the choices I’ve made over the years, and this one question kept coming up.
If I had chosen a different brother, none of this would have happened.
“Are you okay?” Cillian asked, walking toward me cautiously as if I were a wild animal that could attack him if he made one wrong move. “Phee—”
“Yeah,” I answered, shaking my head. “I’m just…” I took a deep breath. “I’m just going to take a shower and a nap. It’s already too late to do anything.”
I was about to pass next to him into the living room, when he grabbed my upper arm, pulling me closer to him.
