Page 107 of Oblivion
“I’m not sleeping with anybody else!” he roared. “I’m not the one who cheated months ago.”
“Months! Months ago, you stupid motherfucker. If this kid was from another man, then I would have been showing by now, but I’m not. I only slept with you.” I pushed at his chest. “Only your dick has been inside of me. Only your lies were surrounding me.”
His eyes were frantic, a vein throbbing at his temple, breathing like a bull ready to attack. His fists clenched and unclenched on his sides, and the anger I had never seen on his face before hit me right in the center of my chest.
Even if I had told him five days ago about my pregnancy, he would probably have reacted in the same way. The only difference now was that I had barged into their precious little meeting, airing the dirty laundry for everyone to hear. At night he held me like I was cherished, whispering sweet nothings in my ear, but I saw him now for what he truly was.
A liar.
A cheater.
I made a mistake months ago, but how long was I going to be paying for that? How long would I have to repent? Did he want me to get on my knees? Did he want me to beg for his forgiveness?
If he did, he would never get it. I kneeled for no man, especially not for him. Especially not after seeing Nova coming out of his room. I blamed the pregnancy hormones for succumbing to him, my heart stronger than my will to resist him, to kick him out of the room.
The heart wanted what it wanted, breaking every single morning when my hands touched the cold side of the bed where he slept. I was just a side piece he was using to satisfy his sick urges, to enact his fucking revenge. I was weak when it came to him. Weak when I should have been strong.
Weak because no matter what, I never lied. I did love him. What I felt for Kieran a long time ago was nothing compared to what I felt for Storm, and that was why it hurt so much more. My ego was shattered when I found Kieran in bed with that fucking bitch, but Storm…
My ribcage was too tight for my heart, my lungs suffocating under the pressure of everything that was going on, but I wasn’t alone anymore. This child, this miracle, came first. It came before Storm, before me, and I’d be damned if I allowed anyone to destroy my peace.
I looked at him, really, really looked at him, my eyes taking in the strong jawline, the small scar on his chin, wide, powerful shoulders and those arms that made me feel safe when the darkness was too close, slipping through my defenses. I pulled back the memories when his eyes shone with happiness and love, instead of this hostility. I ran down the memory lane where the future seemed brighter, free of all these chains keeping the two of us apart.
My actions turned us into enemies, and I doubted that anything would ever be the same. This domino effect I started couldn’t be undone, it couldn’t be stopped, and I was tired of fighting. Tired of constantly wanting more than life could offer me. I was tired of begging for love, for understanding, for forgiveness, constantly trying to prove myself.
I dragged myself out of hell once, survived assassins coming for me, people I loved betraying me, and I would survive this as well. I had to let him go.
I had to let the idea of us go.
“Look, Storm.” I started talking first, unable to bear the silence wrapped around us. “I am terrible at this, terrible at expressing my feelings and my needs. The only way I know is the toxic way, and I can’t keep living like this. I can’t keep praying for something that will never happen.”
His breath hitched as I dropped my head, as if he could feel what I was going to say.
“I’m tired of loving people that can never love me back.” I smiled hollowly, sorrow latching on every single word rolling off my tongue. “Two months ago I told you I would make you regret it, that I would make you all pay for what you did to me, but now… I don’t want to do anything, Storm. I want to find out who’s after me and I want to eliminate the threat. I talked to Cillian already, and they’ll be submitting everything to their contact in the FBI. Logan Nightingale will be gone soon enough, and we will handle the rest.”
His hand lifted toward my face, but I took a step back, unable to bear his touch right now.
“I honestly don’t want anything from you anymore.” I chuckled, looking at the floor. “I probably would have told you about the kid, but knowing our history and how things were going, I didn’t want to upset you again.”
“Ophelia—”
“No, no, let me finish, Storm,” I murmured and looked up at him, my eyes brimming with unshed tears. God, I hated my hormones right now. “I am going to let you go.” I nodded, pressing my lips together. “And I hope you will let me go as well. If you want to be a part of his or her life, I am going to be okay with it, but you and I…” I trailed off. “You and I can never be together. This,” I waved with my forefinger between us, “this can’t go on. It hurts too much. It’s painful to even think about it, and I want to be happy, you know? One day I want to be happy. You might think that I don’t deserve it, that I don’t deserve having anything pure in my life, but I want it.”
He kept quiet, his feelings flashing right in front of my eyes, but he didn’t reach for me.
“I don’t know how to be with you, Ophelia,” he finally murmured. “I forgave you already, you know?” He smiled. “But there are things… Things I can’t tell you, and I can’t be with you.”
The final splinter etched itself into my heart, right into the left chamber where Storm used to live.
“I don’t know how to move forward with you.”
“I know.” I sniffed, wiping the wayward tears from my cheeks. “I know you don’t. And I can’t wait for you anymore. I can’t wait for someone to choose me, to love me, to take care of me, to be my equal. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to shatter you, but I did, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being me, Storm.”
“No—”
“Wait.” I put a hand up stopping him when he tried to approach me. “I am sorry for being who I am and for not being a girl who could love freely.”
“You’re giving up,” he grunted, more of a statement than a question. “You’re giving up on us and you promised you wouldn’t.”
