Page 12 of Divine Violence
Dominic didn’t exactly wait for me to say anything. He didn’t even wait for Alexander, as if he couldn’t get away from me fast enough.
But I’d be fine.
I’d survived without any of them. Just because Dominic didn’t remember me and for whatever reason didn’t want to stay to meet me all over again, didn’t mean that I wouldn't be okay.
This sadness couldn’t fucking last forever. Other people weren’t in charge of my destiny anymore. I was.
I was the captain of my boat and tonight was my rebirth.
Curiosity was what brought me here, but the need for something new, something forbidden and uninhibited, was what kept me going when I started walking down the docks. It was only fitting that Samhain would be the night of my death and my rebirth.
My nightmares bledinto this purgatory I called life, shattering the carefully painted picture I’d tried to portray. I’d tried so fucking hard to run away from the memories, wishing for one night to be different from all the other godforsaken dark and tumultuous eves when my ribs felt too small for my lungs, pressing into the flesh, cutting off my oxygen.
I’d wanted to change the core of my being, running and running and running from everything I used to be and everything I used to do, but one look at Dominic, and it all fell apart like a house of cards, destroying the illusion.
I’d gripped the Swiss pocketknife harder, letting the edges bite into my skin, hoping that the pain in my body would take away the pain in my mind.
I was fucking forgotten.
Like I never meant anything to anyone.
It was all in vain. All these years spent in misery, hoping that one day I would be able to escape who I was and everything I did.
Every fucking thing I did was useless because this moment tonight was what I should’ve waited for.
That look on his face. That indescribable apathy bleeding through every pore of his body, and he didn’t recognize me. I was older, yes, but I still looked like that little kid who followed him everywhere he went, because that kid… that stupid, stupid kid believed that he hung the stars up in the sky.
That kid believed that fairytales existed and that Prince Charming didn’t need to rescue her, because she already had the perfect life.
And just like every single one of these people that were now exiting the boat as we docked at the small wharf, I lived in the ivory tower, oblivious to the pain and misery in our world. I was oblivious to those less fortunate than I was at the time, but I’d learned.
I had to learn if I wanted to survive the crazed eyes of those that were tasked to protect me, to keep me alive. I had to learn even when their touch made my skin crawl and my eyes tear up. At a young age, I knew that they weren’t supposed to touch me like that.
I’d adapted, and I wasn’t that little girl anymore.
That Echo didn’t exist anymore, and Dominic Talon would find out what it meant to be afraid. All of them would see that the nightmares weren’t just stories told to little children to scare them from forbidden places.
Nightmares lived inside of me, and standing here, on this motherfucking boat, I knew what I had to do. I wanted to avoid it. I wanted to simply enjoy, but they didn’t deserve to live when everybody else died even though they could help.
None of these people deserved to live a life of privilege. They did nothing to gain it.
These spoiled little children of men and women who could’ve changed the world, didn’t deserve to laugh, drink and love, when the people like me, like little Lorelei, went through life filled with rage, pain and all the bad and vile things that could exist.
These people didn’t deserve mercy. Where was the mercy for me? Where were all the self-righteous men and women when my throat went raw from screaming so hard? Where were the neighbors when a little boy died?
Where the fuck were they?
The murmur of voices as they all disembarked from the boat irritated me, but I could hold my tongue. I could hold my temper in check long enough to plan, to observe, and to see what I could do to right the wrongs. I would introduce them to the misery so great that no amount of money would ever again mean anything to them.
Living on the edge of sanity always felt like a horrible way to live, but I should’ve known that life would always find a way to guide me where I was supposed to be.
I looked to my left, toward the coastal line of the island.
The tree line covered the entire coastline, and only a small portion, where the pathway leading from the wharf toward the road illuminated by the lamps, wasn’t covered with trees. I couldn’t see the mansion from here, but I had no doubt in my mind that it looked exquisite.
I couldn’t wait to see its walls covered in blood.
“Echo?” A deep, dark voice called out to me and I turned around to see Alexander standing at the door. I wanted to like him. I almost allowed myself to do it. But knowing that he belonged to these people and that he played the same games as them didn’t sit well with me.
