Page 4 of Temptation
I wanted to die.
My skin felt as if a thousand bugs suddenly crawled over it, their little legs leaving a bone-chilling feeling behind.
“Go higher,” she begged. “Just go a bit higher.”
My stomach lurched. The lunch I had threatened to come out, but I swallowed it up, and did as she asked.
My hands skimmed upward as she opened her gown, revealing her breasts.
“Squeeze them.”
I looked at her, her hooded eyes and flushed cheeks. How could she love this? How could she beg me to do this?
“But—” Slap.
Her hand connected with my face before I could finish the sentence, the ringing sound in my ears drowning out the internal battle I’d been having.
“No talking,” she admonished. “Just,” she whimpered. “Touch me. Touch me how he used to touch me.”
I didn’t dare press my hand to the cheek she slapped, afraid that it would anger her even more. Instead, I came closer to her, my knees touching her thigh, and I lifted my hands to her chest, slowly going over the visible slopes of her ribs.
She hissed when my fingers lifted her breasts up, and before I could move my hands away, thinking she didn’t like it, her own pressed against mine, squeezing, touching herself through me.
“Yessss.” Her hips bucked up. “Put your leg between my legs, baby.”
And just like an obedient son I was, I did it. I lifted my leg over hers and placed it against her center. She started grinding her hips immediately, her eyes closing, lips parted, while her hands kept mine on her breasts, massaging, making me go harder and harder, until she started smiling, her moans slipping over her lips like prayers.
“That’s it, baby. Give your mommy what she needs.”
Shame.
Humiliation.
Powerlessness.
I always felt it when we did this, but today was different. Today, my mind refused to shut down when she started losing herself. Today, I was present, and I knew that the nightmares of tomorrow would be created with this picture in my mind.
My mother satisfying her needs with me.
“Yes, yes, yesssss,” rolled off her tongue, and the words I never wanted to hear echoed around us. “I want you to touch my pussy, baby.” She looked at me with the same eyes I saw in the mirror every day. With the eyes I used to love so much.
“I want you to pleasure me.”
No.
“I’ll spread my legs, and then you can touch me there.”
But I don’t want to.
“I can show you how to do it, baby.”
Please, don’t make me do this.
“You can use two fingers, darling. I don’t mind.”
Please, please, please…
“Right there baby.” She guided my hand. “That’s the spot.” I found her opening and pushed inside. “Oh God, yes!” She touched her stomach. “Go in and out. Just like… Yes, yes, yes, like that, darling.”
