Page 9 of Serendipity
“Eh, look at it however you want to, but the point of the story is, that if I wanted to appear normal, I would probably keep my mouth shut. But, normal—”
“Is overrated. It really is,Tesoro.” He wrapped his hand around mine, and as fucked up as it sounded, it felt like a perfect fit. “Come on. There’s a burger with your name written on it.”
“With pickles?” I squinted at him. “Because if it doesn’t have pickles—”
“There are people that eat burgers without pickles?” he asked, grinning. I could see the dimple popping out on his left cheek, and Jesus-fucking-Christ, this man was too dangerous to be alive.
And not because he was in the Mafia, or because he probably owned a collection of knives and guns, but that dimple. That motherfucking dimple.
“I think I’m in love with you,” I blurted out and immediately regretted it. I might really need to start filtering myself because what in the fuck? “Do not,” I threatened when he turned toward me, gripping my hand tighter.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to. I can see your eyes, Nico.”
“Mhm, and what are my eyes telling you?”
Thatyouwanttofuckme, I wanted to say. That you want to shatter me, consume me, hold me, and let me go at the same time. But I didn’t voice any of those thoughts because I wasn’t sure if I would stop him if he tried anything.
I was deprived of human touch, of consuming love and passion, and once you feed a starved dog, he would never leave. I knew that if I tasted this forbidden fruit, my boring life would be the one I would gladly leave behind for him.
“Nothing. They’re not saying anything.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying.”
“No? Then you’re afraid.”
“Excuse me?” I huffed. “I am not afraid.”
“Hmm, whatever you say,Tesoro, but I know what I see in your eyes.”
Curiosity killed the cat, and mine would kill me. “And what is that?”
“That even though I kidnapped you—”
“Your goons did,” I interrupted.
“As I was saying…” he cut me a look. “Even though I kidnapped you and I’m still keeping you here, even though I know that you’re not the true heiress they were supposed to take, that fear in your eyes is not because you think that I might hurt you. It’s there because you’re afraid of what you might feel, here, with me.”
I swallowed the stone lodged in my throat, hating him and admiring that he could see what I kept hidden for so long.
I was afraid, no matter how hard I wanted to deny it. I was fucking terrified, because putting myself out there was never an option. It was easier to go through life if I never allowed people to come close enough to hurt me.
It was a lonely way of life. Lonely and sometimes terrifying, because I couldn’t help but think that one day I would look back and detest everything I did, because none of it made me happy.
“Am I right?”
“I would rather not say.”
“Mhm, you don’t have to, but it’s okay. If it will make you feel any better,” he leaned down, all the way to my ear as we stopped in front of another door, “you terrify me as well,Tesoro. But this fear is the kind of fear I would gladly carry in my chest, if I would get to see that flushed face of yours every single day.”
Holy shit.
Holy shit on crack.
What was I supposed to say to that?No, Mr. Hot Gangster, I would rather you not because I don’t need to be cherished. Yeah, that wasn’t happening.
