Page 54 of Apathy
“And, Skylar,” he called out, stopping me in my tracks. I turned around, looking at him for the first time tonight. His hair was more gray than blond now, and his silver eyes just like Dylan’s were not soft anymore. No, he was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. “Not a word to anyone.”
“Yes, Dad.” I surprised myself with how strong my voice sounded, but I guess that after two years of this, I learned how to hide my emotions. I was thankful that the voices inside my head kept quiet while I stood in the middle of the room, the stench of sex, cigars, and his expensive cologne tickling my nose.
I didn’t wait for another word from him. I slowly opened the door, storming through the hallway of the darkened house, all the way to the front door. I didn’t stop to take a shower, even though I wanted to get his filthy scent off my body. I didn’t stop to look at myself in the mirror, because I didn’t want to see myself. I couldn’t face myself. All the other times he would leave me alone to gather my thoughts, but this time, he was the one staying behind.
Our family used to live in this house years ago, before I was born, before our parents got married, but they decided that living on the edge of Winworth was not suitable for one of the founding families.
So they moved, taking the land on Ashword Street, and building the house that now held some of the best and worst memories for me. Too bad it was the bad ones that started prevailing, and the good ones got lost.
I yanked the door open, letting it slam against the wall. The smell of fresh rain and clean air welcomed me, slamming into me like a freight train. People often said that rain always came to wash away all the bad things on earth, and I wondered if I would ever be able to wash away the sins clinging to my skin.
Sins and tragedies, the only two things I had to offer.
I started running, jumping from the porch into the darkness, rounding the fountain perched in front. Rain poured over me, mixing with the tears streaming down my face. My chest hurt, my breaths rushed, but I just wanted to get away from this place. I wanted to forget, to erase these memories from my head.
I hiccupped, fighting the sobs shaking my entire body, but I still ran. There were no other sounds apart from the pouring rain and my feet thundering against the ground, not even caring about the shoes that would no doubt be ruined after tonight.
I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to look at Dylan and lie to him. I didn’t want to look at Lauren and smile until my cheeks hurt. I couldn’t lie to them.
But there was one person I could lie to. One person that didn’t give a fuck about me, and as long as he didn’t, he was going to be safe. One person whose name was like a melody repeating in my head, and I needed him tonight.
I slowed down as I exited through the open gates of the former Blackwood Manor, seeing my car parked just a few feet away from it. No one ever came to this side of Winworth, and my father knew he would be safe. His secret, my downfall—they would be safe from the people of Winworth.
Little did he know that these people wouldn’t give a fuck even if he stripped me naked and tied me to the pole in front of City Hall. The only thing they cared about were their own lives, and if it didn’t affect them, they looked the other way.
Lightning illuminated the night, distorted tips of the mountain visible from this side of the town. I pulled my keys from my pocket, unlocked the car and opened the door, welcomed by the silence. The forest on both sides of the road should’ve looked sinister, but there was nothing more sinister than what was sitting inside the house I just left.
Humid air somehow seeped inside the car, and turning the ignition on, I switched on the air conditioning, letting the cold air onto my face. I knew what I was going to do tonight. The screen of my phone lit up as I turned it on, and an array of messages both from Dylan and Lauren welcomed me, but I didn’t want to look through them.
Instead, I rushed through my contacts until I found what I was looking for. I contemplated calling him throughout the week. I wanted to feel him again, but I was a coward, afraid he would deny me. Yet tonight… Tonight I had nothing else to lose.
The phone rang for what felt like forever, but when his gruff voice answered, the cold that started seeping into my bones suddenly evaporated.
“Hello?” He sounded confused, almost sleepy, but I didn’t care if I woke him up.
“Meet me at Infernum. I need you.”
And I dropped the call. I just hoped he would come.
Ash
What the fuck was I doing here?
I kept asking myself the same question over and over again, but the answers I had were too disturbing to think about. I tried to forget about her—the way she tasted, her smell, that wicked smile when I entered her for the first time. I tried to erase it all from my memories, but I couldn’t.
As soon as I threw away that condom, I wanted more. I wanted to chain her to me, to take her everywhere, to take her away from here. I wanted her eyes on me at all times, and I almost forgot what it was that we came here to do. I almost forgot about my purpose, my revenge, all thanks to the pair of blue eyes and a cheeky smile. All because something in her called to me.
I was on edge the entire week, because even though my mind knew what we needed to do, my body rebelled, craving her more and more and more. Countless times I almost gave in. I almost took her to the janitor’s room at school when she arrived in nothing but tight jeans and a shirt showcasing her stomach. And I wanted to punch Kane St. Clare when he talked to her.
I wanted to punch anything, actually, when she smiled for everybody else but me. Sebastian avoided me, because I was like a tiger waiting to attack, and it fucking pissed me off. I wasn’t this person. Girls came and went, but I never stuck around long enough to see where it could go. And one time, one fucking time that my blood hums from the nearness of her, it was the enemy I could never have.
If my uncle knew where I went tonight, he would be disappointed. I promised myself it would be only once. Only one fucking time, but when she called earlier tonight, I couldn’t resist. At the sound of her voice, my dick jumped to attention, basking in that raspiness, remembering how she felt around me.
So here I was, cursing the fucking rain for falling. Cursing this life for sending Skylar Blackwood to me, for making me want her. I wasn’t supposed to want her. I was supposed to use her, break her, throw her away, but instead I was rushing to meet her, to touch her, feel her, like a man starved. Jesus fucking Christ, this shit couldn’t be happening.
Not now, not fucking ever.
I could barely breathe, anticipation building higher and higher, and it was only a matter of minutes until I would be able to touch her again. God, my fingers tingled at the mere thought of her skin. My lips ached, craving hers. I craved her sweetness. I craved her darkness. I wanted to know who destroyed the light in her eyes.
