Page 21 of Apathy
But what about those I would be leaving behind?
I couldn’t leave Lauren, not now. I couldn’t leave Kane, even though he scared me more than he excited me now. They lost one friend, and I couldn’t be the next one to die.
“I-I’m sorry.” I took a step back. “I was just thinking.”
“Dude.” She grabbed my arm, pulling me further backward. I could hear the panic in her voice. I could see the fear in her eyes, because we both knew I wasn’t all right. None of us were. “You looked like you were about to jump.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” I laughed, but it sounded fake. It always sounded fake, but none of my friends called me out on it. None of them commented, because all of their smiles looked the same as mine—fake. “I would never jump.”
My words seemed to do the opposite, and instead of reassuring her and removing this fearful look from her face, her lips tightened into a thin line and the grasp she had on me became harder, as if she could hold me, save me, from what I was about to do.
I couldn’t explain it to her without hurting her, but this deadly waltz of life was killing me slowly. Day by day, hour by hour, I was always doing something that was bad for me. I was killing my body, and I was killing my mind, because being a walking dead felt better than feeling everything I felt in May.
“Just… Be careful. Okay?”
I nodded, since I couldn’t taste any more lies on my tongue and agreeing that I was going to be careful would be the biggest lie of them all. Lies, secrets, dark whispers, they were slowly wrapping around my soul, choking me, cutting off everything good and light.
“Any news on Megan?” I asked as I stepped away from her. Lauren finally let my arm go, but the weary look on her face was ever so present, and I wanted it gone. I wanted her to think about something else, instead of worrying about me.
She shook her head, pulling the bottle of water from her backpack. “No,” she answered as she uncapped the bottle. “They have no new leads, nothing. She literally disappeared from the face of the earth.”
“Do they think it’s—”
“Connected with Zane,” she interrupted me. “No. Dad thinks she ran away, but her parents are dismissing that theory.”
Lauren’s father was a sheriff in town, and she managed to get all the information firsthand, before it even came out to the public.
“Did she have a boyfriend?” I asked, and took a bottle from her, taking a mouthful of water.
“We’re talking about Megan, Sky. She didn’t go anywhere but to school and church. Hell, she was practically a saint. Church was the only place where she spent time, if we exclude school, so that whole theory of her running away with a boy makes no sense. If one of us disappeared, then yeah, maybe you could suggest that we ran away with some guy, but not her.”
“Then where the fuck is she?”
Don’t get me wrong. I felt bad for her and her family, but I didn’t exactly give a damn if I never saw her again. This whole situation was hitting too close to what happened with Zane, and with all those other girls missing and then appearing after a couple of days close to the town. It sent chills over my skin, and I couldn’t shake this feeling.
“I have no idea,” she shrugged. “I just hope she turns up soon. Dad’s been spending more time at the station than at home, and I hate this sinister feeling floating through the city.” That makes two of us.
Sometimes living in Winworth felt more like a nightmare than real life. I wasn’t sure if it was the environment or everything that had happened in the last year, but I had a feeling that the streets of Winworth carried more secrets and more darkness than any other place in the country. Maybe it was the constant foggy weather and rainy days, but the atmosphere was almost never cheery.
The one thing I did love about this area was the nature. If you were lucky enough, you could hear the wolves howling deep into the night, or you would see squirrels preparing for the winter while you walked through the forest.
Winworth was surrounded by mountains on all sides, with the thick evergreen forest climbing up, covering the stones of the mountain. Hikers loved this area, and they usually went to Emercroft Lake after finishing here. On those rare sunny days, you could see the mountain tops playing with the clouds, and instead of the macabre song of crows, you could hear the soft chirping of the birds.
I turned around, taking in the horizon in front of me as the sky started darkening, and the night slowly started cloaking Winworth. I could see a couple of lights being turned on in the distance, but we couldn’t see the entire town from here. Only a couple of houses on the northern part were visible from here. I loved this feeling of being able to escape it all at least for a little while.
The ping from my phone pulled my attention back from the sight in front of me, and to the unknown number showing on my screen.
Huh?
I took a step forward, moving away from Lauren who was too busy taking a picture of the sight in front of us, and started unlocking my phone. A deafening roar tore through the silent afternoon and the ground beneath my feet crumbled down. As I started losing my balance, I could barely hear Lauren screaming my name.
I slid down between the trees, shielding my head as I went deeper into the forest. The colors of the forest blurred together, and I closed my eyes, fighting the force of gravity pulling me lower and lower. I gasped for air, feeling the pain in my ribs, on my back, on my legs, my body turning from one side to the other as I rolled down the hill until I hit something solid, knocking my breath out.
“Fuck!” I yelled, trying to straighten myself up. The smell of wet soil and pine trees surrounded me as the ringing sounded in my ears. My back hurt, my head ached, and I couldn’t hear Lauren anymore.
Opening my eyes slowly and seeing the darkness surrounding me, I realized I went down further into the forest than I initially realized. The trees blocked the light down here, and I started feeling my pockets for my phone. I must have dropped it while rolling down here.
Goddammit.
