Page 74 of Equilibrium
I placed my right hand on the other side of his waist, hugging his back, and with a quick glance at me, I could see the small smile playing on his lips, but when I didn’t smile back, that familiar frown was back, his eyes narrowed.
“What’s wrong?”
Did he really ask me what was wrong? I wasn’t the one walking around with the permanent death stare.
“Nothing.” I shrugged and turned my head, looking at the short hair Atlas now sported. Indigo was right next to him, and for the millionth time, I had no idea why those two weren’t together. Over the last couple of days while I was ignoring Storm, I noticed stolen glances, hidden smiles, long wishful stares, and I just wanted them to get it over with.
I was a nosy bitch right now and maybe thinking about their non-relationship was easier than thinking about the beginning of mine. Holy shit, I was in a relationship. That thing with Kieran, I didn’t even think about it as a normal relationship anymore, considering how it started, but right now, this whole thing with Storm was a relationship.
Right?
Unless you fuck it all up as per usual.
Listen, I didn’t have enough middle fingers to show my inner self how I really felt. I wouldn’t fuck it up, not this time. This time, I wanted to work through the things that were bothering me. This time, I wanted to break the circle of suffering my family put me through. And yes, I knew that tomorrow I would probably go back to my old grumpy self, but for now, I had to believe that maybe I could work through all of this.
Storm’s hand on my waist squeezed tighter, making me roll my eyes. Who would’ve known that grown-ass men were just overgrown children? When I didn’t look at him, ignoring him just like he had ignored me for the last hour, he squeezed me again, grunting at the same time.
I know, I know, I was the bitch that kept ignoring him for days on end, but I had a reason. A small reason, but I had a reason, and he knew it. What was it that Ava constantly told me? The secret to every good relationship is communication, and if he wasn’t going to communicate, then I didn’t know how he expected me to talk to him.
Not that I knew anything about relationships, but wasn’t communication the most important part?
“Ophelia,” he grumbled. “Don’t fucking test me right now.”
“Or what?” I kept looking ahead as I dropped my hand from his waist. His annoyance was almost palpable, and even though this whole game we’ve been playing reminded me more of high school and the whole I-don’t-wanna-tell-you-I-like-you thing, I was enjoying it. I guess that’s what happens when you miss out on all the normal things in life.
To say that my emotional maturity resembled more to that of a sixteen-year-old teenager than a twenty-four-year-old woman, would be an understatement of the year. I didn’t exactly know how to behave around people. I was still surprised ZoZo didn’t run away in the opposite direction, but she seemed to like me, and I started liking her as well. When she wasn’t talking my ear off, she was cool, I guess. I knew how to maim, kill, threaten, but I didn’t know how to have a socially acceptable conversation, nor did I know what regular people did while they were dating, or whatever this was.
Relationship, you idiot. You are in a relationship.
Middle fingers, high up, whatever worked for my inner self.
“Are you seriously not going to look at me?”
“Are you seriously not going to tell me what’s bothering you?” See, two could go around in circles, and one of us was going to have to relent. It was just too bad for him that it wasn’t going to be me. If he wanted to be a stubborn mule, I was about to show him what it meant to date a Slavic girl. I could hold a grudge for years. Just ask Kieran, he knows the best just how long I could hold one.
I thought he would let me go, drop his hand, and just continue with the whole ignoring part, but instead, he pulled me closer and pressed his lips to my temple. “I don’t wanna fight with you.” Really? “But there are things I need to work through and there are memories too painful to think about right now. I promise you,” he gave me another kiss, “I will tell you everything, but just... Give me some time.”
Damn him and his reasoning. My heart clenched at his words, because I knew what it felt like being haunted by memories and not wanting to revisit them if you didn’t have to. Hell, I still wanted to run away and close the damn door that opened inside my mind, but I was going to try. I didn’t want to feel bad for him when he pissed me off, but his lips felt like a balm on burning skin. I could try denying it until the end of the world, but I loved his touch. I had no idea what to do with all these mushy feelings. I wasn’t even going to try to be rational about them. Just roll with it. I was just going to have to roll with it and let it lead me, well, wherever mushy feelings could lead you I guess.
“Promise?” I finally looked up at him. “I am tired of secrets, Storm. My whole life was filled with them. My parents lied, Kieran lied, my brother lied, everyone around me lied, and I am tired of it all. I want the truth, no matter how painful it is. If it’s something that’s connected to me, I wanna know.” I smiled. “And if it’s something that’s solely yours, I’m gonna wait until you’re ready to tell me. But for the love of everything, don’t wait too long. Patience isn’t one of my virtues.”
“I do.” He gave me one more kiss, this time on my forehead. “I promise I will tell you everything.”
I was a distrustful person. People in my life had proven that I couldn’t really trust all that many people. They lied, they cheated, they fucked up everything we had, but with Storm, I wanted to believe him, but I needed more time to forget about everything else that had happened and to truly start living.
“Okay. I guess I can deal with that.”
The smile that took over his face just as we came to the entrance to the club was blinding, and that fluttery feeling in my chest returned because I was the one he was smiling at. I was the reason he was smiling, and although we had a long way to go, I believed that this could be the start of something really good.
“Atlas? Indigo?” The two girls I saw earlier squeaked as soon as we came close to them, each of them entwining their hands around Atlas and Indigo, squeezing them together. I started laughing because I realized who they reminded me of, put together like this.
Have you ever watchedSnow White and The Seven Dwarfs? Atlas was definitely Happy, while Indigo with no doubt in my mind resembled Grumpy. Even with the two girls attacking them, Atlas was still smiling, even flirting with them, and Indigo looked like he would rather be anywhere but here.
I could feel Storm’s eyes on me as I cleared the tears that had gathered on my cheeks and went into another fit of laughter when Indigo jumped on the spot as one of the girls pinched his butt.
“Oh, this is golden,” I choked out. “This is better than a movie.”
“You’re terrible,” Storm said, but I could see he was trying not to laugh. “We need to get inside and not waste our time here.” Or maybe he could pass for Grumpy? He and Indigo could share the spot.
