Page 30 of Equilibrium
This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to steer clear of him, not jump his bones at the first opportunity that presented itself. Jesus, fuck, I was a mess. My heart was still in pieces from the last person I thought I loved, and Storm could destroy me inside and out.
Loving him would devastate me, and I couldn’t let that happen.
I feltit the moment it happened—the stiffening of her body, the shallow breathing, as if she was preparing herself for the words I knew would pierce straight through my chest. I couldn’t regret what we just did, even though I knew it was a mistake as soon as we both started cooling down. She was nowhere near ready for what I wanted from her, and I didn’t want to have her for only one night.
Ophelia was a woman you wanted to love forever. Kieran let her go, but I wasn’t going to make the same mistake.
I wasn’t lying when I said that I was never going to let her go. I just had to make her see what was right in front of her. I had to make her believe that there was something more outside of this fucked-up world. And if that meant waiting for years for her to come around, then so be it.
“Don’t say it,” I started in a gravelly voice. Whatever she was going to say would hurt more than anything else I endured so far. This woman could bring me to my knees, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit that. I was too old to play games of tug-of-war with her, and if we were going to do this, we were going to take it slow.
“S-Storm.”
“No, I don’t wanna hear it. Just… don’t. Please,” I whispered. I could handle just about everything, but if she said that this was a mistake… No, just no.
The rumble of the motorcycles could be heard from outside, and I knew it could help her to see we weren’t keeping her completely shackled. I wanted her to be my equal, but she also had to earn that place.
“Come on.” I moved her to the side, hissing as my dick slipped out from her heat. I was still semi-hard, and if it were up to me, we wouldn’t be leaving this room. But she wasn’t fucking ready for everything I wanted to do to her. I was too rough right now, and with a flickering gaze, I tried looking for new bruises forming on her.
There were already red marks on her hips, from where I held her. I loved seeing my marks on her, but not when her skin was already marred by scars and bruises from somebody that never really deserved her.
But do you?
Maybe I didn’t. Maybe I would never deserve her, but that didn’t mean I would stop trying. I just hated the look on her face, filled with regrets, filled with anxiety from what we just did. I fucking hated that she looked at me as if I were a stranger, even though I virtually was one.
I hated that we lost years we could’ve spent together. Years where she could’ve been treated how she really deserved to be treated. And it still fucking infuriated me that she never came back to me. She must have known who I was, and even if she didn’t, this was Ophelia we were talking about.
She saw our insignia; she could’ve found me.
“Why did you never come back?” I asked just before she could get off the bed. The fire and passion that was burning through her just five minutes ago was now completely gone, replaced with the look of indifference. Her shoulders stiffened, her lower lip trembled, and I wasn’t sure if she wanted to cry or if she wanted to scream.
Maybe both?
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
I was getting irritated with this cold demeanor she was throwing my way every single time she wanted to avoid the subject at hand.
I almost growled at her. “Well is there anything you do want to talk about?”
“As a matter of fact, there is.” She was getting angry. Her right eyebrow arched, her back straightened, and as she got up to stand in front of me, in all her naked glory, I almost forgot what we were talking about. “I need you to let me go. I need to get out of here, Storm.”
“Not a chance,” I gritted. “You’re staying right here, where I can see you.”
“You’re unbelievable.” She scoffed and marched past me. But I wasn’t going to let this end up this way. She had to talk to me. I had to know what was happening behind those blue eyes.
I grabbed her arm just before she could enter the bathroom, turning her back to me. Her defiant eyes stared into mine, and I wanted to strangle her and kiss her at the same time. This woman was going to be the death of me, and if I were being completely honest, I wouldn’t mind dying if she was by my side.
“I told you already.” I smiled, grazing her lower lip with my thumb. “I am never letting you go. And if you don’t wanna talk right now, fine, don’t talk, but you are staying right here.”
“You can’t keep me here like some kind of animal!” she thundered. “I don’t wanna be here!”
Her voice echoed around the room, and this is exactly what I wanted to have. I would take her anger every day over the cold indifference she was throwing my way. I would rather burn in her agony, than bask in her frosty lack of interest.
My eyes landed again on the mark on her shoulder where he burned her. I almost wanted to carve that patch of skin, just so that I wouldn’t have to look at it anymore. That snake was taunting me, and it was haunting her. Did she still love him?
I could try to make her see what we could have, but I couldn’t compete against a ghost, and that’s exactly what Kieran was.
He was a ghost lingering in the air around us, and no matter how hard I tried, she had to be the one that was going to come to me, not the other way around. I wanted her more than anything else, but I wasn’t going to have her if she wasn’t willing to give me her body and her soul. This relationship wasn’t going to host three people, and I’d be damned if I allowed myself to sink down to the bottom and share her with the ghost of a man that did nothing but hurt her.
