Page 23 of Ricochet
“I know, baby.” I removed the hair that fell on her face. “And I missed you too, but the first time we have sex won’t be like this.”
“But you do want to fuck me, right?”
“I don’t know,” I pulled her harder against me, against my aching dick, “you tell me.”
She grinned like a kid on a Christmas morning, and my own smile intensified immediately. With her snuggled against my chest, the soft rumble of the engine made me sleepy even with the raging situation in my pants. I entwined my hands in her hair, feeling the silky softness, and trying to forget the past year she was away.
“So, why are we getting tattoos?”
She kept quiet for a moment, and I looked down to see her playing with the loose thread on my coat. When I saw her earlier, I expected to see the same shadows in her eyes. The same monsters fighting inside, but there was nothing. I needed to ask her where she had been for almost a year. Why did she disappear like that, only to return behaving like a completely different person?
“I wanted us to do something together.” She looked up at me and continued, “And I want to do something that will make me remember them.”
“Remember who?” I asked, confusion lacing my words.
“Them.”
“Who are they, Phee?” She snuggled closer to me, burying her face in my shirt.
“Ophelia.” I took a hold of her arms, and pulled her up, our faces on the same level. “Who are they?”
“I did what I had to.” A sinister smile spread over her face, and for the first time tonight, I could see it.
The emptiness.
The coldness.
It was all there—the lack of emotions on her beautiful face.
“What did you do, Phee?” I asked carefully, almost wishing she wouldn’t give me an answer.
“I killed my demons.” She took my hand in hers, a satisfied smile on her face. “I killed them all.”
Four Years Ago
Snow.
There is something so beautiful, yet so tragic in it. It’s so temporary, and just when you think you got used to its beauty, it is gone, faster than it ever came. Kieran was my snow, and I could feel him slipping away. Bit by bit, day by day, we were becoming strangers.
Somewhere deep inside, I always knew we would end up here. Two people connected by our hearts but disconnected in every other part of our lives. He wasn’t coming to me anymore, and for some reason, he wasn’t the first person I sought after every mission.
But he was still mine, and I was still his. We were Kieran and Ophelia. We were meant to be together. Right? We were. I knew he hated the life I led, and everything I did, but fuck it, he wasn’t letting me go.
Then why did it hurt so much when I couldn’t see the same spark in his eyes? Or when he didn’t feel the urge to see me for days on end? Did he even love me anymore?
Fuck, of course he loved me. My insecurities can fuck the fuck off right now, because I knew that what we had, people rarely found.
I needed to do something, maybe surprise him. Yeah, that’s it. I just needed to pull us out of this crazy funk we found ourselves in. We’ve just been stressed out about everything going on around us, and busy with our assignments.
And then, there was Ava, who wanted to either kill my brother, or just run away. I wasn’t sure that either of those options were plausible, given the fact that with both of them, she could end up dead. Unfortunately, I would probably end up being the one sent to kill her, and that was one thing I could never do. Not in a million fucking years.
I would rather die than harm her.
I was a terrible, terrible friend, and despite all of that, she still loved me. She still stayed by my side, even though the Ophelia that came back wasn’t the Ophelia that left Croyford Bay. Hell, I could even see Kieran recoiling from me sometimes, but Ava never.
During those nights when the blood was too thick to wash, when the ghosts were too much to handle, I could see it in his eyes. He couldn’t stand the sight of me.
He couldn’t handle me at my worst anymore, and I had a feeling the only time either of us was resembling anything close to what we used to be, was in our bed. He was still the boy I used to love—a man now—and I was still a girl with peace in my mind, and without any of the demons haunting my dreams.
